IFC S2R12: How to Read "Infinite Jest"

Step 7. Feel like a fraud and a failure. Take note that your own pretentious arrogance cost you $30 dollars.

Step 8. Humbled by your failure, attempt to redeem yourself by giving it to a friend to read. At least that way it wont be a complete waste. Remember that you have a friend who is known for reading many books and who often reads boring books. Also take note of his obsessive personality, recalling a conversation in which he informed you that once he starts a book he feels compelled to finish it and that he has never not finished a book. Maliciously and manipulatively, talk up the book to your friend until he agrees to read it.

Step 9. Feel relieved that the book is out of your house, no longer reminding you of your ineptitude.

Step 10. Feel intense shock when 3 months later friend returns book to you stating that he is "over it."

Step 11. Inquire about friends experience and come to learn that your friend only made it to page 244. Laugh when friend informs you that there is a 20 page section within the book that is literally gibberish - you're not surprised.

Step 12. Spend some time contemplating the point of the book. Perhaps the book has no meaning at all? Perhaps the immense length and pointlessness of the book is a malicious joke formulated by its author? Perhaps the author is currently laughing in the afterlife at anyone who reads his nonsense book?

Step 14. Get rid of book. Throw it in the garbage, or if your city has a recycling program, in the recycling bin.