Hi i am Paquito the angry citizen

in #introduceyourself8 years ago (edited)

Hi  Steemians nice to meet you all. 

How did i find out about Steemit? well here let me show you. 


Now let me share my little story. 
I always wanted to come to the states, since I was a little puppet I had dreams that one day I will a part of the American dream, and then one day ‘Caramba’ I made it here.  My eyes were smitten, and I must admit that my expectations have been surpassed, and like any respectable citizen I started cooking up my plans for the future.  

I was seeing everything unfolding in front of me…my future, my everything… I was picturing a career in show business, you know, cause I am a smooth talker and quite good with the ladies. I always thought of myself to have that ‘je no sais quoi’…you know what I mean, that thing that would get me out of any trouble and situation…but that’s another story. At first I thought I should take on Hollywood and mingle with all the stars, but things didn’t work like that for me. Trust me that there’s nothing wrong with me…more likely there’s something with the people, but I didn’t blame them for anything, I’m not like that. So, soon after I realized that I should postpone my acting career, I decided to open up a business and since I was a great cook, the first thing that came to my mind was to ‘feed people’. Not that I was willing to give them anything for free…I’m here to make bucks baby… I decided to open up my own ‘food limousine’ as I like to call it. That was it, I would put up my fancy outfit and give people what they love most…food. 

I could also become a drug dealer and sell some weed, you know that gangsta thing…I got a lot of offers, but this wasn’t just for me. You have no idea what they to puppets behind bards…well, I had no idea too, and I really had no interest in finding out in this life time. I had some cash on me, but not nearly enough, so I had to get some more to buy me that truck. I did what everyone else does when they need money…ohh don’t think I went to pimps and thugs… I went to the bank obviously and when they saw me; well, they didn’t really saw me at first because the counter was taller than me and all they could hear was my freaking voice in the open air. Ohh god they wanted to call the police because they thought they were getting robbed…eventually I managed to hop up on a chair so that we could speak from the same level.  

I thought it was worse when they didn’t see me…but you don’t know how they looked at me when they were finally able to look at my face. I believe to be a funny guy, but I never really managed to make people laugh without saying a word…I guess these bank folks are a bit of a pricks anyway.  “How my I help you?” the lady asked me and I said… “I need money…why do you think I came here? To have a cup of coffee…I don’t think so!”  She looked at me for a few seconds trying not to laugh, ohh god that was so obvious and annoying at the same time and then she blew it straight in my face.   “Sorry, but we can’t lend money to people like you!” “People like me??? What do you mean ‘people like me’?” I replied and I was pissed off. I’m sure that you know what I am talking about…you’ve been there at least once in your life.  “I am sorry, but I can’t help you” she said finally and turned around. This was like ‘fuck off now’ but not that brutal.  “That’s racism…bastardo… !” I screamed towards the shock of everyone else inside the building and I left. I had a bitter taste in my mouth, but this was not going to put me down. I decided to go to a place where I knew I would get the money for sure…  I got the money finally as I said…aahh, you’re curious now to find out how it did huh?? That’s a secret, for now…Imma tell you in the next episode, just watch and see. 

Now with my hands on the truck, it was time for doing business, it was time for making ‘maneee’. I was going to be the fanciest food truck owner in town and New York was going to be the place to start. I knew that with all those Wall Street money I was going to get a share too and sales were not going to be a problem for me…at least that was the plan, you know…but things don’t always go as planned.   I found my spot near the central park, and I thought that people had to come and buy some food from me; with all that joking and dag walking…you know what I mean. I was so enthusiastic about my business and there comes my first customer, a fancy lady with a puddle in her hands; she looked kinda bitchy to me, but to hell with all of that, I was there to make many, not make psychological analysis… “Hi signora, how can I help you?” I asked her with a big smile on my face, but she looked at me like I was less than human…which I was but never mind. I always thought that in America everyone has his fair chance, even someone like me. “Do you serve hotdogs?” she asked with a squeaky voice.  “Of course signora, we have everything you need here!” “And hot sos?” “Yes mui caliente!!” I replied but she looked at me as if I had cussed her. “What?” “What what?” I asked back even more confused than her.  “What’s that?” she continued.  “What’s that what?” She left without buying anything…and I felt so bad about it, but hey…that’s business I thought, sometimes you get it sometimes you don’t…just like with women…god, how much I love women. That day was horrible and I barely sold anything, but soon enough I was truly in business.

 Some people looked at me as I was handling my business with my ‘sensitive’ hands and left, but others focused on the taste of my food and loved it. I am a damn master chef, what can I say, I make magic with these hands and I am proud of it.  For the next couple of years I did continue with my business, and I have seen a lot of freaking things…some pretty scary. People are ‘looocas’ what can I say and you can only see this when you are dealing with them on a daily basis…ohh as for this presidential elections…can you believe this guy?? Trumb…Trump, whatever his names is because I can never get it straight. He wants to build a freaking god damn knows how many feet tall fence on the border with Mexico…isn’t he crazy? Who is going to build it if Mexicans aren’t allowed to come here?? Huh??...I’m joking… but things are serious around here. 

You just can stay far away from politics, no matter how much you try to…at least I can’t, but this is another story to tell, you know what I mean, and right now is so damn hot outside…and this beard is killing me. I hate to shave, I just hate it, but I have to do it otherwise the kops would bust my ass in a minute thinking I was some king of terrorist. Since when does a freaking beard make you a terrorist huh?? I have nothing against the beard and I don’t really like it either, but I hate the feeling of the razorblade on my sensitive fleece skin. I get some of the worst rashes and with time, the weaving gets loose and I’m afraid I’m gonna look like a 200 years piece of cloth…and that’s nasty, believe me. No one will buy a freaking burger from me…ever, and being broke it’s the last thing I’m planning on doing.  I’m waiting for the elections tho’, I am curious to see what’s gonna happen next…it’s the country going to get ‘crazy’ or ‘crazieeeee’…I just waiting for the showdown to begin.   

Anywayzzz thanks for reading a bit of me and hey don't forget to upvote :)
       

 

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Who the hell takes their phone to the bathroom. Lol