Daily Jokes from SydesJokes for 9 Oct 2017

in #jokes7 years ago (edited)

Joke 1

Funcle

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/65


Joke 2

If you think time heals everything, try sitting in a doctor's waiting room.


Joke 3

People in a small town can exhibit extraordinary levels of trust. I was collecting shopping carts outside the grocery store where I work when a man and woman pulled up in a brand-new sports car. Noticing the dealer plates and the price sticker on the window, I assumed the couple were deciding whether to buy the vehicle.

Test drive? I asked.

The man gave me a long, careful stare. "I guess," he shrugged and tossed me the keys.


Joke 4

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.


Joke 5

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"


Joke 6

A headmaster at a parochial school wanted to provide his new students some advice for appropriate behavior at church. He thought he would try to elicit rules that their parents might give the youngsters before taking them to a nice restaurant.

Don't play with your food, one second grader cited.

Don't be loud, said another, and so on...

He then turned to another youngster to ask, "And what rule do your parents give you before you go out to eat?"

Without batting an eye, the child replied, "Order something cheap."


Joke 7

Two buddies are fishing, but they haven't caught anything all day. Then another fisherman walks by with a huge load of fish. They ask him, "Excuse me, but where did you get all those fish?"

The other fisherman replies, "If you just go down the stream until the water isn't salty, you will find a ton of hungry fish."

They thank him and go on their way. Fifteen minutes later, one fisherman says to the other, "Fill the bucket up with water and see if the water is salty."

He dips the bucket in the stream and drinks some. "Nope. Still salty." Thirty minutes later, he asks him to check again.

Nope, still salty. One hour later they check again. "Nope. Still salty."

This isn't good, one fisherman finally says. "We have been walking for almost two hours and the water is still salty!"

I know, says the other. "And the bucket is almost empty!"


Joke 8

Q: How is a lawyer different from a hooker?
A: There are some things a hooker just won't do.


Selling Bitcoin

SydesJokes Daily Digest

Original post: http://csyd.es/1/12


Originally post at: https://sydesjokes.blogspot.com/2017/10/daily-jokes-from-sydesjokes-for-9-oct.html


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A smile every day keeps the doctor away, thanks @sydesjokes

Cool jokes , just like you were born to be a commedian @sydesjokes

I am just crap at telling jokes as I always laugh at the punchline :)

No. 5 made me giggle😀