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RE: I Met A Buddhist Monk When I Was 22, This is What He Said To Me (Journal Found Tonight)
what a wonderful post....I was the same age traveling in the same year as well and feeling very lonely even though it had seemed like the right thing to do. Anyway, I like reading about your experiences.
why were you traveling alone in Japan?
I really have no idea why I was.......I had studied Japanese, gotten a degree, but really, I had no clear purpose other than learning.
I was in the Netherlands apprenticing at a pottery, Denmark visiting relatives, Germany doing I have no idea what, France visiting a friend but again aimless....I retrospect, I see that I was just wandering trying desperately to find something that helped me understand who I was and what I can do! I needed a positive mirror of sorts and I didn't really find it on those travels. I look forward to more of your journal installments, I wish I had kept a journal at that time!
Yes, me too. I was always looking for good mirrors. I had a best friend in college, and I went searching for her replacement. I never found one. For that I am sad. I sound gay, but i'm not. I just never found a friend that shared such a deep connection, and made life like we were children again. I miss her, and it makes me upset to think that I can never find it again, just that sort of friendship. I suppose this is why adults become full of sadness and are jaded.
Yes at that age we really need mirrors! Actually, maybe we always do at any age. And you're so right - friendships are so important. I think that I've loved and still love friends even more than lovers! It's different, but when I've lost a friend it's taken me years to recover and a hole is left that just can't be filled. It's not about being gay, but just because I too need my friends, love them so much. I'm so sorry you lost your dearest best friend....
I think one of the reasons my travels back then weren't as rich as I'd hoped was that I was desperately lonely too. I had friends but they weren't with me, I was traveling alone and yes I made new friends on my travels but it isn't the same as those friends who knew me and I knew them. Anyway, I have hope that you'll find a real true close heart to heart friend again.There is plenty of life left to live and you're amazing, cheers to that!