My Son Is Coming Home! - Only 50 Nights More to Sleep Over!

After almost two years, extremely long and disconsolate 21 months, my youngest son, my dear baby boy is finally coming home for Christmas.

I have told you in my introduction post how my youngest son, something above three years ago met Maria, a Spanish girl from Barcelona (Catalonia). They both fell in love with each other deeply and the first year of their relationship on distance was very hard for them.

That year my son was taking exams like crazy to finish his university education and get his diploma as soon as it would be possible. We were joking at home that at the end although the youngest he would graduate the first.

The joke became true, and in November 2016 he packed his things and flew away to Barcelona, to his lovely Maria, more by wings of love than the plane. First two weeks until they found the place to live they staid in the house of Maria's parents.

About a month and a half later, still not knowing the Spanish language very well and mostly relying on his excellent English (Croatian, his mother tongue, unfortunately, wasn't of any use there), he managed to find his first job. It brought a big relief to both of them as the money he saved here while studying and working at the same time, was draining out.

Three months later, at the end of February 2017, he arrived back home for a short few days for his official university graduation ceremony, and at the beginning of March 2017 flew back to Barcelona. And that was the last time I saw him, hugged him and kissed him.

Back then, none of us thought that so many long months would have to pass before we would be able to meet again. The initial plan was that we would visit them in Barcelona in summer 2017.

We knew they wouldn't be able to arrive here in the meantime because Maria was preparing for her final state medical exam. It was imperative that she pass it with the highest possible number of points as it would determine as first her chances for specialization, the ability to choose the type of specialization and finally to be able to select in which hospital she would take it.

Till September 2017, Maria managed to accomplish all her goals, and she got her specialization job in the nearby hospital as she wanted, so everything fell in place just the way they planned and wanted. Unfortunately, not on our end too.

Somewhere in June 2017, just at the time when we were discussing with my daughter, and her husband are we going to Barcelona by car or by plane, almost unbelievable series of adverse events started its devil dance, taking us on an entirely different life path, far away from everything we planned or even imagined might happen.

Illnesses, few car accidents (some small ones and quite a big one), injuries, unexpected large expenses (two floods, break down of the complete heating system in the house where my daughter lives where only this - buying a new one with unavoidably needed renovation cost us above $2,500).

Things like that were rolling in with such insane frequency and speed, literally on a daily basis that some mornings I would be afraid to wake up not knowing what would occur that day. At some point, I was even scared to pick up the phone having that ugly feeling that some other new bad event is just knocking on the door. For months, I was praying to God just to let me pass through the day.

The whole year was like that. Some days we had to deal with several things at once and without delay. I felt like somebody threw some ugly spell on us. Appliances at home and in some apartments went out of work one after another (some could have been fixed, some should be bought new). One of the apartments was semi-demolished by one of our previous tenants.

The company where my youngest son was working in Barcelona all of a sudden stopped paying its employees. Knowing what we are dealing with over here, at first, he didn't want to tell me about it. But when his salary was two months behind, he couldn't stand it anymore.

Instead of us going there, he hoped they would be able to arrive here for summer vacation what according to the new circumstances at his job become impossible as they were living on savings and he was looking for a new job.

Then that string of bad events culminated with the death of my brother-in-law (my sister's husband) and just several weeks after that with the death of my mom. Not even to mention how those last weeks of her life looked like. (I posted something about it in my Steemit post a few months ago.) But still, it wasn't the end.

I had to take over entirely the organization of my mom's funeral as well as all other things that should be done around her death. After the burial of my brother-in-law and all the things that preceded and followed it, my sister just couldn't help me, no matter how much she wanted.

On the way, I discovered that my mum not only didn't pay (although she was telling us she did) but as well didn't even register to the association of so-called mortal help (some sort of insurance we have here that would cover in between 75%-80% of the funeral costs).

The people from the association were good and attentive enough to allow me to dig with them through their digital and even old paper base to eventually find a single trace of at least her membership enrolment. Her enrolment only (and even if she didn't pay through the years the whole service) would entitle us for 50% discount (e.g., the casket, and most of the other things). Three consecutive days of digging and no success.

In parallel, my husband and I were digging at home through the countless number of my mom's boxes filled with all sorts of documents, searching for any that would prove her membership enrolment to that mortal help association. Without success either!

Besides that, I wanted to fulfill my mother's wishes and arrange the funeral the way she wanted. Some things were not easy to find either to arrange. But in the end, at least that part I managed to do with success.

My youngest son wanted to arrive at the funeral, but it happened that he was invited for several job interviews in the coming days. I told him, "Forget it! It matters way more all you have done for her while she was still alive than walking behind her casket now. You can't help her anymore, and the prayer for her you can give anywhere. Go and get that job! Granny really wouldn't bother!"

Despite that, I had to postpone the funeral so my brother who lives in Canada would be able to arrange his flights and arrival. Unfortunately, his health condition didn't allow him to, and in the end, he canceled his arrival. Extended daily usage of the charnel house had to be paid anyway. All in all, the funeral cost us three times more (no joke) than on average it usually would.

If you just thought enough is enough and it must be the end, well, you would be wrong. It wasn't the end. Not yet!

About a year ago (or maybe few months less) I started to participate in a project that helped the growth of the community around it and as well brought some funds my way (although not some significant ones). More important was that I really liked to work for the project and even more liked the leading cause behind it.

As my life was indeed put on the crazy rollercoaster, I wasn't able to participate as frequently and as much as I wanted. I informed the community about it through its key leaders. It appeared they understand. At the time, things were going more than fine for the community and the vast progress was going on. It seemed like only the sky is the limit for them.

During three months before my mom past away I was more or less continually reporting to the community leaders that things are going even more crazy and wild on my side, especially when her brain almost overnight from a very spirited old lady literally switched off.

I wanted them to know that at that particular moment they can't rely on me, my work and support. The reaction from the other side appeared to be friendly with understanding and compassion. I was glad to stay the part of the team. Of course, I wouldn't have benefits while I'm not actively participating, but I was told that the door remains open so I could catch up again when things calm down on my end.

But it turned out that one late evening when I finally set down in front of my computer, I have discovered that I have been expelled and that the access to the project group has been denied to me, without a single notice. It was just about the time when my mom past away and when I was still dealing with all above described around the organization of the funeral. I didn't say a word. I took it as their way of "condolence."

At the very same time (I told you in my introduction post that I'm also occasionally driving for Uber) the new law came into force for Uber and other cab drivers. According to this new regulation, my car (as of many others too) almost overnight became too old to use.

The new law demands that the car shouldn't be older than seven years (not even a month older). All Uber drivers in the country (including me) were left with only four weeks period to adapt to that change, while all other cab drivers are given with five years period to adjust to the same difference. (So much about equality, justice or even democracy!)

Besides that, there was the whole bunch of new papers, licenses, etc. that should be obtained (of course, not for free) in the same time frame of those four weeks adaptation period. But that was a smaller issue. The biggest problem was that I don't have the car anymore or at least wouldn't have it when these four weeks pass. And this car through my Uber rides managed to cover many otherwise insurmountable gaps.

If despite all the happenings and enormous entirely unplanned expenses that we had till then, I was still dreaming I would somehow still be able to visit my son this summer (2018), that new law for Uber drivers killed it completely.

Above all, I really didn't know where to get the money even for the worse and at least six years old car that would be acceptable according to the new law. My husband and I were already full of all sorts of loans and not able to get any new one. The feeling of being trapped at some dead end was inexplicable.

Several days after my mom's funeral when I went to her grave, I told her, "Listen! Now you know everything, all those things that I have never wanted to bother you with and even those for which you were accusing or judging me wrong just because I spared you from many burdens. Now you know all of it, and now it's the time. I'm not asking for some golden goose who would produce the golden eggs for the rest of my life. But for God's sake pull some strings up there and send me some feasible solution! It's time!"
I lit the candle, said my prayer and went home.

A few days later, on their way home my daughter and her husband stopped by. I don't recall anymore what we were talking about and how we ended up on the topic but at some point, my son-in-law said, "I can take a loan for you right this minute if you let me." We (my husband and me) were all like, "How? When? Where? How would we repay it? How much? For how long?"

My son-in-law continued, "You know that most of our money we invested in our just started, new business. The amount that left is not enough for a new car that you need for Uber, but my bank would give me the loan that I can take over the Internet banking right away."

The following hour we spent in back and forth calculations to find the best possible solution with loan rate amount that my husband and I would be able to repay on regular bases. Thirty minutes after we found it and double checked all if, if possibilities we could think of, the money was on our account.

Three days later we bought a car for my Uber rides. A week after that my youngest son called me to tell me he got a new job in Barcelona and he would be starting to work there the following week.
- There is only one somewhat bad news inside that good news, you should be aware of, mom. - He told me. - I wouldn't be able to take the vacation for at least the next six months, despite the fact I didn't use it in the previous company.

I took a deep breath as I knew what does it mean. At the time it was already three months that they were surviving without my son's salary, so I knew they would need some time to recover from that in the first place. But even when they do, because of his new job and some other circumstances he still wouldn't be able to come home. (He was employed to replace two ladies who would go on their maternity leave in the following few months.)

Besides that, we were stuck up here because of the additional new loan for the car, even more than before, and on top of that, I had to take the exam (according to this new law regulation) which still wasn't scheduled. I only new I have to pass it before September 2nd, this year or otherwise I wouldn't be able to drive.

The timetable for the exam has been appointed for the last week in August. I enrolled for the first free slot. I took the exam and when I arrived home, still not knowing did I pass it or not, I told my husband, "I can't stand it anymore! I want to see my son! I'll take my backpack, and I'm going to walk all the way through Barcelona." My husband tried to calm me down. He knew I'm crazy enough and capable of doing something like that for real.

I somehow managed to put myself together and calmed down. The past two months we were working like crazy (and that's one of the reasons why I told you in the post where I was saying "What Can You Expect From Me... ?" that I can't either want to promise you that I will write every day). We managed to close a few smaller debts and one smaller loan.

Two weeks ago my youngest son told me he managed to bring and close several big deals for the company he is working for now, all by himself as both ladies who he had to replace and who were tutoring him when he arrived went on their maternity leave in the meantime. Last week he told me that the company offered him because of that a new permanent job contract with a higher salary and some other additional benefits.

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In the morning, two days ago my son called and told me, "Mom, I don't want you to get too excited, but there are some chances I might get ten days vacation around Christmas. I will talk about it today with my bosses, and if everything goes well, I'll let you know in the afternoon."

I was walking around in trans the whole day long. Afternoon arrived, and the phone didn't ring. Night darkness was overtaking the daily light, but the phone remained silent. Every now and then, I was checking the phone, just in case not to misheard the call. Nothing!

I tried to stay calm and rational, comforting myself by thinking, "Maybe he didn't have a chance to talk with his bosses, after all. Maybe something else!? I don't know, but I'm not going to give up of my hopes! I'm staying positive! Maybe tomorrow!?!"

It just passed midnight when the phone rang. I already fall asleep, tired and exhausted. The TV was still on, and at first, I didn't know where it rings. When I answered the call, at last, I heard my son saying half was laughing and half in disbelief, "Mom, are you sleeping already?"
- Aha... but just a bit. - I replied semi-awake what made him laugh aloud.
- What happened to the good old night owl? When did you stop being the one? - His comment made me laugh too.
- Mom, I'll let you keep sleeping. We can talk tomorrow, but I just wanted to tell you that I just bought the tickets and booked the flight. I'm coming home for Christmas! - I was fully awake right away.

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When I was a little girl and when I was longingly waiting for something I would never ask my mom how many days I would have to wait. Days seemed too long for me to be used as a measure of some waiting time.

Therefore, instead, I would always ask, "Mom, how many more nights I have to sleep over?"

Besides, I was convinced that somehow I'm able to speed up the sleeping time and that way that something I was longing for would arrive sooner. My mom always laughed at my calculation method.

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Yesterday was All Saints' Day. It's a national holiday in my country. (I wrote more about our customs for a holiday in my last year Steemit post.) My family's custom is to gather, and then all together we go to the cemetery where our lost ones are buried. Yesterday, it wasn't any different, except for one thing. My mom wasn't there last year.

When we arrived at her grave first thing I've said was, "Thank you!" I knew she would know what for it is. My brother moved to Canada 47 years ago, and if anyone understood the feeling, it would be her. We lit the candles and said our prayers.

When we were about to leave, I turned back, tapped the headstone and told her once again, "Thank you, very much! Now I have only 50 nights more to sleep over, and I'll hug him again!

^{In a hug with my youngest son}

Nothing else matters anymore!

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Posted on Friday, November 3, 2018

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