Integrating in the Netherlands and the Cultural Differences

This is not a generalization, just my experience

When I arrived in the Netherlands, never occured to me I was going to live here longer than one year. But constantly I was surprised by some cultural differences; lessons I'd like to take with me forever - others, not that much. But from this new assimilation, I learn that build a new life somewhere else can be also a challenge.

I always wanted to have a gap year, always planned to, just never couldn't make it, either because I was in the university, or had a new job or new boyfriend. By the way, the end of a relationship brought me here. I needed a break. So I decided coming as Au Pair to the Netherlands, the cheapest way to move out of Brazil. It was just one year, so why not?

I was sooo frustrated with life and disapointed with people, that I didn't even bother to google where I was about to move to. All I knew about was it had windmills, flowers, bikes and weed. One year later I visited places, made friends and learned lots more, especially with @exyle.
Before I went back to Brazil we decided to move in together. I was beyond happy to stay with the man of my life, but also thrilled about the future in Holland. Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely place, but it's nothing similar to Brazil. I believe if I had picked Italy, Spain, Portugal, it'd be more familiar to my culture - Holland is a good contrast from where I came from.

During my Au Pair year I learned how to be pontual, this is a must in here, not in Brazil. I also learned that respect each others individuality and time are very important - always make an appointment before visiting someone. I learned these very quick. But here goes things I feel are most different compared to my country, which I still haven't adapted myself.

• For lunch they eat bread which is still hard to get use to. They are (very) straight to the point, and if you are too, man you will love it, if you are not, you'll probably cry. Just to make sure, I love it.

• Yes, they all bike and if you don't after a while in here, they will twist the face and wonder why.

• Dutch people are very polite, most of the time they talk to you smiling, if you need help, they'll try to help you. If you often meet a certain group of Dutch people, they will be always interested in your life, making all the question you never expected to answer, after a while they will start giving you three kisses in the cheeks instead of shaking hands, but wait there! They are not your friends. Different than in Brazil, they don't call everyone friends, unless you've been hanging together since the pre school or university.
  This way when people ask me if I have Dutch friends, I still don't know what to say. I know friends of @exyle, but I don't know if we are friends, or just friends of my boyfriend. Believe, this for a brazilian is too hard. This also means all my friends in Holland are brazilians.

• They do like to impress. Yes, MOST of the time I see a group of Dutch people and start to pay attention in their conversation with my alright Dutch language skills, they are talking about work, career, money, investments, houses, travels, cars and expensive wine. I don't blame them, it must be something they do for generations and generations and might be their way to show their knowledge and be intellectual, but I think it's a bit boring. They also often try to talk to me about these, I even thought it was harassment in the beginning, but it just their cute way to chat. Someone must think "you say that because you don't have it, you fool!". I say that because this is not too important for brazilians, for us these subjects are too vain and shallow. If you only talk about these things in Brazil, people may give you a nasty face. Sorry, allemaal!

• They don't party like us!
  Once again, I am sooo sorry, but nobody party like brazilians. I know some brazilian may say "of course, this is a serious country, Brazil is a joke, bla bla bla". Man, calm down. Gonna give simple exemples.
  I went to Red Hot Chili Peppers concert last year, my favorite band ever, I expected it to be the best concert, people screaming, dancing, t-shirts in the air, boobs. Instead, people were standing still like they were watching a sad movie. In my mind I was "do I jump? do I sit? do I scream? no?". Confusing! If you are wondering what's wrong in that, I suggest you these videos in the end of the post.
  Birthday parties are a bit meh. Chips, nuts, cheese and a cake, which is served right in the beggining of the party. No music, no loud people, the same talk as always. This year me and my boyfriend decided to celebrates our and make it a bit brazilian, loud, busy and full of food, so I won't feel too bored. I think we are finding good balance.
  Also next year we will probably have a World Cup without the Netherlands and I was so sad thinking how I'm gonna miss such important party. But guess this is something I will have to get over during my integration too.

• There are no lines/queues in Holland. You might arrive earlier than anyone at the bus stop, but the guy who just arrived you step in first than you. No shame. I confess I cut the line one of these days and my bf screamed out loud "congrats, baby, way to go, integration!".
  Stopping with their trolley in the aisle of the supermarket is not big deal. They even stop to chat with the neighboors in your way, while you wonder why they are all cool about it.
  In the escalator is even worse. Usually you stop in the right side, and leave the left side for people in a hurry. NOT HERE! Two escalators, and in both they have the courage to stand still.
  This is ultrageous in my country, and dangerous to no say the least. I often call Jesus Christ out loud in the escalator.

• And the hardest and most important of all of them: the language!
  As soon as I had my VISA I knew it was for real, I'd have to learn Dutch. It is mandatory as a partner to take a Dutch test in whitin three years. You need to listen, read, write and speak good enough, more likely a 7 years old Dutch child. Besides that I need to know about their culture and have a professional portfolio, telling my intentions as a worker in here. It sounds simple, but guess what? It is not.
  I learned English by myself and I though "that's gonna be easy like learning English, I can do it!". I can't tell you how many times I've cried of frustration. But as in every struggle, I managed to do it, I'm finishing A2 level, I speak as a 4/5 year old child. Honestly, I couldn't be happier. I see my progress and I am learning everyday more, I just can't wait to start talking fluently and getting all the jokes, enz.

Dear Dutch people, I have no intentions to offend you. This text only shows how different we are and how much I still have to change to fit.
But above aIl, to thank for having me and to tell anyone else that integration is a revolution in your life. You learn resilience, patience, to be brave, to overlook, accepct and see life in a new perspective. You learn finaly to live the life you always asked locked in your room tired of that old dull routine. It is an adventure!
And I am freaking happy for having to do this here, because besides all those differences, I love this country everyday more and more.

Dank jullie wel voor het lezen,
B

Foo Fighters in Brazil and Red Hot Chili Peppers in Brazil