life of a late teenager. base on a true story

Hi guys! Im sorry if im gonna blog some f*****' horrible story of my life. Yes im a 21 year old i have 3 little siblings im the eldest but damn! Is this life? Full of sorrow but then overflowing happiness but in conditional way. 2nd year college by now and still struggling fot my study because my mother and father cant afford my college degree. I just want to share all of you my friends my life! Im a fuckin failed retarted teen but i have some goals and ambitions that to be a dull stack developer someday. Hahahah! Pretty funny! Yes we have no legal house like my mother nad father just built mt home, but no! We have no home like we owned it. We just staying on our auntie's house and me? Hahah im just connecting to our neighbor's wifi right now to research,facebook,play games(even if isn't important right now but its my happiness) to blog. Hahahah! But my dream cant stop to that. Every question of my life i go to google,how to, how does,how can. Thats the questions i ask for. But for now all i point is can i have any suggestions coming from you friend to make my future to be successful? They call me weird because,sorry im an introvert. Rhis life suckssssss. But im fighting right now because of the sacrifices of my family. Im still go and go. And God please help me. All i want is to return all of the gold you have spent to me,my family(metaphorically saying) guys this is my life. Sorry im so fuckin dramatic. Hahaha!