(www.selfstairway.com)

An attractive woman needs only dress the part and go to the venue of her choice, advertise her availability, and she will have any number of suitors buying her drinks, dropping cheesy lines, and trying to get her attention. Don’t be one of those guys, lest you just become one minnow in a school of 1000’s. Your efforts must focus in presenting yourself as a guy who is a different and refreshing alternative to the masses of beggars…

Don’t Be Like Every Other Guy. Do anything to distinguish yourself.

(directexpose.com)

Suppose you spot the most attractive woman in the room. Other men have been buying her drinks and begging for “a chance”... she’s either rejecting the drink offers outright, or accepting them and possibly reciprocating with a little conversation (don’t worry, he’s not getting anywhere with her). You know better though.

Relax, take your time, and build a little tension first. Have a drink or two to take the edge off and boost your confidence. Position yourself and wait till you two have caught each other looking at one another a few times. If she’s looked at you more than once, and particularly if you’ve gotten a smile back, it's time to make your move… but you’re not going to go over and offer to buy her a drink. That's what everyone else would do.

You’re going to walk over and say something playful, funny, and most importantly not begging for attention. Something like “Are you just going to stare at me all night or are you gonna buy me a drink?” or “Why haven’t you asked for my number yet?”... Don’t be afraid to rattle her a little. If her tag on her dress is flipping up and sticking out, jokingly point it out to her. Give her a hard time about whatever she’s drinking or about how she should have been all over the last guy that you saw hit on her if you’re witty and funny. If you pull it off with the proper light-hearted sense of humor, congrats, you’ve got her attention now. Talk about whatever you want, but please no “you’re so beautiful”’s.

Your Time and Attention Isn’t Free. Make her work for it

Every other guy desires her and willingly gives his time and attention to her for free. She has no shortage of men’s attention and is free to pick who she chooses. There is no excitement, fun or perceived value in having something which cost you nothing. If my time and attention is freely given then what value can it possibly have to her?

To the woman who has plenty of options in suitors you must communicate that she should value your time and attention. You must communicate that you have options beyond her and it is on her to compete for your attention. Is she with another female friend? Give her friend equal conversation and attention. She will realize there is competition about and you are of interest to other women, and you may realize you like the friend more anyway.

Don’t state the obvious or compliment like everyone else

Use compliments very sparingly. If you think someone may have told her it before then save that compliment for another time. When you do compliment, don’t compliment her over things she has no control over. If she has the perfect cheek bones, or gorgeous blue eyes she already knows this and she didn’t have control over it anyway. Say something pleasant about something she does control. Her hair style. Her shoes. Her taste in single malt scotch. Something that is uniquely her.

Don’t talk about yourself unless asked a direct question

First off, mysterious is attractive. Let her thoughts wander about who you are. If you tell her all about yourself without being asked one of two things happen. If you’ve had a storied life that’s impressive and you become a braggart, or it's not and you become boring. Better to ask her questions and let her talk about herself… everyone loves talking about yourself. So be generous and let her talk about herself to her hearts content.

Give the gift of missing you

This mantra applies as much when first meeting someone as it does in an established relationship. You’ve gotten her attention and she’s interested in you. Don’t keep it going to the to the point she must excuse herself or leave the convo. You’re a busy guy and you’ve got other things to do is the idea you want her to have. Don’t get boring. Don’t let the conversation run out of steam. Always end the interaction leaving her wanting more.

The departure

We are talking about desirable women here so this won’t be some one night stand. So if you want to see her again, you’re gonna need to have a means of communication post-meet. Asking for her number though… that shifts the power to her and we don’t want that, as silly as these games we play may be. It also sets you up for possible rejection. Give her your number and tell her to text you so you’ve got it. Or give her your email and tell her with a laugh that you don’t give your number out to strangers.

Put the onus on her to contact you, or at least initiate it. Once again, you're being different and memorable, and you're communicating self confidence that she will.

Watch any love story of your choosing... watch it objectively and you'll see why the above advice works and conventional "wisdom" does not.

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