People on your street. Your neighbors. People you walk by and see everyday. WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THEM?
I don't want to know anything about my neighbors, or people I see everyday. Seems too easy of an answer.. WHY?
I went to an outdoor party tonight. Everyone that showed up seemed to know each other, except me.
I sat away for a moment, and people kept asking me to come closer. Those that invited me to the party knew I'd contribute and have something to talk about.
As the night went on, it got easier, and easier to talk to strangers. We introduced ourselves. We made comments about the weather. We made comments about how great the campfire was, and how good the food tasted.
Give it 2 or 3 hours more... and soon the people started forming into small groups, with like minded interests, talking about similar things. Weather was no longer a hot topic.
When you gather a large group of people (say 30+), at a party, people will generally branch off into their own segments, find each other, and start talking and enjoying themselves. That is the natural way most parties end up.
So why does it take a big party or big gathering for this to happen?
...it just does...
"Hey, we're having a party. Lots of food. Lots of people. Can you bring a salad? Want to come" someone may ask.
oh, I don't know... let me think about it. I don't know if I need or want to go to a party to meet other strange people
(But no one is honest and says that. They say "I would, but I have other plans. I am stuck with other obligations"
...and then re-consider and you go anyway.. You bring your bowl of salad to add to the party. You talk about the weather. You smile and greet and be protective about yourself until other people start divulging a bit about themselves.
...next you you know, the new people -- WHO WERE EQUALLY UNCOMFORTABLE -- are now comfortable with you. You are comfortable with them. It's easy conversation about any topic and any situation.
This is how you meet other people. You don't sit on your couch, change TV channels and meet someone. It takes the uncomfortable moment you have to leave your house, attend a party without knowing how good of a time you'll have. Next thing you know, you just spend the rest of the night, hours on end, enjoying someone new you just met and had a great time talking to them.
So after all of this, next time someone invites you to a party, what do you say?
oh, I don't know... let me think about it. I don't know if I need or want to go to a party to meet other strange people
But that is not what you said to the person inviting you, did you?? No, instead you said:
"I would, but I have other plans. I am stuck with other obligations"
...which translates into missed opportunity.
People don't really talk to their neighbours anymore. Maybe in the smaller towns but any city i have lived in people tend to stick to themselves. Going to the pub is the best way to mix here as everybody just chats and throws themselves into the night out. Its where i met most of my friends.
I have the same experience. It's always a bit uncomfortable at the beginning, but later on, you often enjoy the party very much. And when you don't, you can leave, that's always an option isn't t!
In order to meet new people and experience new things, we need to step out of our comfort zones. Comfort zones become our armour keeping us from trying new experiences. Put a chink in the armour and get out there. What happens often surprises us...
You're bringing up a point here, to which I can relate a lot. Being rather an introvert, going to parties or social gatherings, where I know only a few people, is a big challenge to me. However, lately I understood that I'm missing out on a lot, if I continue to ignore invitations. I will never make new friends and meet new people, if I continue listening to my fears. Of course, it's a challenge to me. But then again, life is a continuous challenge.
It has been a while since we have been to a party like that. But we are going to hang out with friends next weekend and it maybe a small party as they just moved into a new home.
funny, was just discussing this earlier how so many live just inches or feet from others and know nothing but conjecture...even if I don't particularly like some of my neighbors I say hello and know most of their names.