Stop Being Nice to Yourself to Improve Your Behavior - Anyone Can Master This Secret

If you are looking to change your behavior and start being more assertive and someone who doesn't need to be treated nicely, why not start by changing the way you talk to yourself? By talking to yourself negatively all of the time you are setting yourself up for more rejection. You might think that you are being nice to people when in reality you are just setting yourself up for failure. When you change the way you speak to yourself, not only will you start to get more positive results from your efforts but also you will be more pleasant to be around in general.


Here's the deal, everyone loves a compliment. Well some people don't like them, and that's okay. What you should really be focusing on is how much you love yourself. We all need to take care of ourselves and make sure that we look good. So instead of saying "I'm nice" all of the time, say "I feel nice" or "I want to look good."

Most people have a tendency to say "You are being so mean to me." This really puts people on edge because they feel like the person is trying to take credit for their good looks or wealth. Well there's nothing personal about that, if you think that credit belongs to you, then give it to yourself. It's good to feel good and it's a great feeling to be appreciated. But instead of doing that, tell yourself "I am glad that you think so highly of me."

The same goes for negative feedback. When you receive a negative comment about yourself from another person, ignore it. Don't let it bring you down. Instead, respond to the comment with "Thank you, that's really nice of you to say". This will get you into the positive feedback cycle where you are giving yourself positive feedback and also getting people to compliment you.

Most people want to be liked and to feel that they are being understood. You don't have to agree with what they are saying, just smile and nod when they speak. Even if you don't totally agree, at least give them the courtesy of silence. People are more likely to do that if they feel that you don't want to get into a heated debate.

However, if you are constantly receiving negative feedback, it might be time to make a change. Start looking at the people who are giving you this criticism. Maybe they aren't doing a great job of it, or maybe they're simply bad at reading body language. If you see something that seems wrong, challenge that negative feedback with "how do I make that situation better?"

Another great tip is to pay attention to your own body language. Watch how you are walking when someone gives you negative feedback. Or even look at the way you are holding yourself in conversation. If you can answer honestly and truthfully without holding back, you will start to notice subtle changes in yourself that will allow you to respond with more positive feedback.


If all else fails, try this. Instead of responding to negative feedback with "what do I do now", simply respond with "thank you for your feedback". This makes you not only look good but also gives you a chance to think about what you need to do to improve your behavior. After all, if you are constantly being nice to yourself, you are not likely to get anything done. Instead, you are likely to resort back to the old habits of being uncaring, needy, and nasty.