How to learn to let people out of your life?

in #life3 years ago

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Life is not only meetings, but also disappointments, losses and partings. We are only travelers here, so you need to know how to learn how to let people go from your life.

Fundamental rules
Give yourself up to time. Sometimes you don't need to think about how to let people out of your life. Time will do everything. If there was unrequited love or a dishonorable lover in your life, you just need to give him time and come to terms with the fact that he was in your life. In a couple of years you will be able to look at him with an open mind and perhaps he will seem ridiculous, ugly and not as good as he seems now. It's just that better people will come to replace them.

Don't be selfish. If you really love a person, and he wants freedom, then the best manifestation of love will be to give him this freedom, and not to force him with your ideas about love.

Don't give in to nostalgia. Sometimes we love not so much a person as our own feelings and sensations. We had a good time with him and we want to continue it. But the bottom line is that change is no less beautiful. So that nostalgia does not interfere with life, when it attacks, switch to something beautiful from the present. We often do not notice how much beauty happens in those moments when we are immersed in the past.

How to let go of an ex (ex)
Most often, people who think about how to learn how to let people out of their lives think about past love. The first thing to do is to let your feelings out. Do not hide emotions, this time. You can cry or get angry. Recovery will begin only after that. And these are normal emotions.

Don't embellish the past. Everything was as it was and now it's just hard for you to remember the bad. But in the decision to leave, there was also your participation, and this means that something did not suit you in your half.

Try to distance yourself from the person as much as possible. There is simply no other way to let go. In practice, this is difficult, but you can limit the time of contact with the former as much as possible. Don't conform to the person and come up with a new hobby and new companies as an excuse. Just think more about your interests than about his.

Do what you want. Perhaps during the period of marriage or relationship, you did not have enough time for your favorite activities and had to send them to the second or third plan. Now is the time to remember who you are. Even if you like to just hang out and go to concerts and clubs, do just that.

Don't let yourself wallow in negative thoughts. What to do? Just imagine that all your thoughts are voiced by cartoon chipmunks or Donald Duck.

Don't forget about friends. This is your support group and therapists. With friends, you will definitely not feel alone.

Find yourself and learn to love yourself again. If you are looking for new opportunities, then letting go of a person will be easier. Just live life to the fullest.

How to let go of unrequited love
It's even easier here. Don't blame yourself for not being chosen. It doesn't mean you are bad. A person simply chose the one who is more convenient for him. And the word “more convenient” may mean that they don’t see, for example, in the position of the victim, on which you can merge your negative emotions and assert yourself at her expense. Do not idealize the object of unrequited love - this is an ordinary person and it can be very difficult for you to work with him. It is better to focus on self-love: it will be much more productive to give love to the one who really needs it, and not to the one who will use it as a consumer, that is, yourself.

How to let go of someone who has died
This is the most painful and sad thing, but it must be done.

First of all, learn not to regret anything. You are not to blame for the fact that a person went to another world. This leads to more suffering. You should not feel guilty even if, for example, you were drawn to a date six months after the death of your lover. If he also loved you, he will be glad that everything is working out for you, even if he is already in the next world.

Allow yourself to grieve and do not hold back emotions. You can and should cry and even pour out your anger. Do it the way you feel comfortable. You should not grieve alone, because by sharing grief, you will give part of it to your neighbors. Just look for support.

Look for yourself again. Remember what made you alive before. This can be lived on today.

Live in the future. Sometimes this is the only way to let go.

Write a letter to the person. Let this be the official parting letter. May it be positive and full of the best memories. Concentrate on all the good that this person brought you and confess your love for the last time. What to do with this letter is up to you. You can burn it or put it in a bottle and throw it into a river or sea.

Remember that one day, let the person go forever. Perhaps it will go unnoticed. You will simply understand that you have reconciled yourself and you can live on, and only the best memories and all the best that this person gave you are left with you.

How to let go of negative friendships
Perhaps you have become a victim of betrayal or come under the influence of not the most decent friend,relationships with which you are destroyed. These people also need to be able to let go.

Surround yourself with new people. And new interests. Just because a friend betrayed you doesn't mean other people will necessarily do the same. Don't be afraid to make new connections.

Move away from the person. This is necessary to understand what your relationship really was and how offended you are. Take your time to see each other again, even if you both want it.

Decide for yourself what you want from new friendships. After all, you don’t want your new friends to be a copy of the old ones and also turn out to be traitors? Do some introspection and reflect on what you value in other people.

And also, do not forget that letting go of a person does not always mean cutting off any contact with him. You can be with a person nearby and take care of him, but not give him the opportunity to forbid you to live the way you need and devastate you. This is already aerobatics, but having mastered it, you will never feel alone.

Remember that we usually come into this world alone and leave it alone. So, you don't have to be afraid to let people go.

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