How to be a super-dad #4 (Full-time fatherhood and my ego)

Mothers usually tend to deal with ego much easier. Many fathers have difficulties to confront ego, to benefit their family and I am not talking about the money part, but the emotional part. I had the same problem. I think it is because our society pushes us that man has to make money, money is the key to happiness, you have to make a career, to give a better future for your kid. I have been a full-time dad for some time now, and in this short period of time, I realized that it is incorrect. I have to change something.

Many parents tend to buy expensive things for his kids from his first days. I have many friends who buy their kids' expensive toys, and then after a few days, they don’t play with it anymore. Parents don’t understand what happens and buy more expensive toys for him. And the circle goes on and on. Buying new phones and pads. Eventually, you will have a kid, who is disappointed with an x-box for Christmas. You probably saw a lot of videos about this problem. So why not to change the way, if you know the outcome of this road.

Why then am I buying all those expensive stuff for my kid if there will be this outcome? Because, there is your ego, who thinks - “How other people will see me” You should destroy this though and you will become happy as you have never been before. Just ask yourself- “why should I worry about what other people think of me” This questions might sound stupid, and probably you have heard it many times, but it really works if you truly ask yourself and try to give an honest answer. If you would give yourself an honest answer it would be -“There is no point in it”. For me, it was the biggest game changer. Now I was able to reconstruct my mind. But here is a catch you have to truly believe in what you are saying.

My ego was bigger than Everest. For me, it was very important, how others will see it. Most of my choices in life were made, based on this though. And well for me it was a constant race for more appreciation. I had happy moments in my life, but when I stayed alone I had many thoughts about how my life was unhappy. The moment when I started to realize I have to change, was the moment when I started totally new life. This change in the ego changed my life to 180 degrees. Now I understood, that only value I have in life is the appreciation of my family. And my biggest accomplishments are the things my son have learned.

From my point of view, the best thing you can give to your child is the time and knowledge you have. Your kid doesn’t need all those expensive things you can buy him. Giving your kid knowledge and skills, he will be much better prepared for life, and he will be able to earn those expensive things himself. Teach him how to love, how to appreciate things, how to be happy about events that happen in life, how to act in different situations and so on. This to me is the biggest thing you can give to your child.

Change the way you think, and you will see your family as the main reason to live. So why not to be happy also. If you cancel the concern of what others would think, it opens so many doors for you. For example, your kid is learning, as he doesn’t know many things in life. Remember, you are many years ahead of him. Teach him those things. In reality, it is very fun and excited process, to see your kid learn new things. It takes much patience but it is an interesting process.

Bonus advice, remember, that what will be good for you, will not always be good for your family. You are part of the small community called family. Think about what is good for your family and not only for you. Many times I have heard that if my family will have more money they will have a happier life. That is only partially true. Your family will be happy when you will be around. Don’t run for the money. There is a limit which you should get, but from there it is only your ego. Spend some time with your family, they will never forget it.

Bonus: Many kids don’t really like toys, they like the stuff we use at home like spoons, dishes, bowls, TV consoles and all other stuff you have at home. From my view, it is because, he sees that we use those things, and want to do the same. Our kid is copying our behavior. So he will tend to copy a lot of things we do in life.

To be continued…...

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