Hello my friends,

My subject today is a bit crazy, adventurous and I'm sorry but it's with a sad ending.

First time I survived a tank shell, it was so special. I wasn't afraid or anything. I was excited about the near death experience, esp. since it was the first time dodging a shell, but not the first time dodging death by bullets or explosions. After I realized I had no scratch on me, I walked for like 15 meters and another shell hit. I had a few scratches on my arms but that was it. No shrapnel or anything. I still tried to finish the text I was typing on my phone before the first one hit.

After that period of my life, I lost count of the near death experiences I had but they were all exciting and very much different from each other. For about a year or so, they were every other day. Literally, I'd almost die once every two days. Then got less when I got out of that town. But never stopped.

I had a weird habit of getting to mortar shell sites a minute+ too soon or a minute+ too late, surviving bullets at too close distances, and the funniest of all is that all meetings I used to cancel prevented me from going to explosion sites!!! Like every time I cancel meeting a friend, an explosion happens in the place we were supposed to meet.

This is my old room, one day after I left it.

This is my room in the new apartment after we moved. Got a bullet in my balcony door and it hit the wall then the other door and kept ricocheting between walls. Scared the whole family. It would've hit me in the head if I was standing next to my bed.

My theory about mortars and such things, from my personal experience, is:

If you hear it, then it's far and you have survived it.

If you see it in the air (which is rare), then it's going way too far away from you. Unless you see its head pointed your way (like that time I saw three missiles coming at me and I wouldn't be writing this post if they hadn't changed course.)

Also if you see the smoke rising, then you're too far.

Sometimes you don't hear anything but you feel your eyes and ears hurting for no reason. It means it was a big one but kind of far so you didn't hear it cuz of the noise. But you can tell cuz the house shakes, or the doors and windows open in some cases. Even the furniture jumps sometimes.

If you hear the bullet whizzing, then it was too close to a sniper.

If you see the wall/ground suddenly getting a whole close by, also you were too close to a sniper.

If you suddenly became deaf and blind but there was no pain (like my first experience) then you were way toooooooo close and you've been saved by a miracle but go hit by the dust and the pressure. It's just for a few seconds until you realize you're still alive and you're safe.

Also if you see this, then it's a miracle it didn't blow up!!

This next photo means that this is a dangerous street and there was mortars after mortars almost in the same spot. (also one of my favorite places in Damascus)

This is what a mortar shell does to a good asphalt road:

Imagine what it does to a person!!!!

Anyway, if you don't even stop talking and consider mortar shell sounds to be rude for interrupting your sentence, then you're me, or you're crazy.

If none of that ever scares you, and you go out every day like none of that is still happening and you live your life to the fullest and have fun and enjoy your walks even or esp. when the terrorists issue a curfew, then we're probably related & we should be, cuz I've been in all the situations I just mentioned.

The last week I spent in Damascus, I went to the optician to fix my glasses. His place was closed so I was angry and I stood there for a few minutes then went home. Two days later I went there and found out that this happened right after I left. It was probably the last near death experience I had in Damascus.

I never had fear for myself, it never stopped me from going places even when I saw it raining hell. BUT it hurts as hell when any of my loved ones were out and I heard that there was mortars falling or so.

It is the worst feeling ever to worry about them when I'm here 3000 kilometers away & not fully aware of what's happening there.

Only for being by their side and for making sure they're alright and safe, I wish I didn't have to leave...

It drives me crazy whenever I think about them. Please pray for them and for peace.