I had a terrible fear with my first born also. I was always finding myself waking up and saying please don't let him die. I had such a terrible fear of crib death. I was or have always been one to believe that anything can happen. I called the nurse help line so many times they finally stop answering my calls....lol. I am probably not the only person that felt that way with a first born, you just feel you don't know what you are doing. Things were a bit more relaxed with my second son, but I had a bit of experience under my belt by then so not every little gurgle scared me.