Nothing seems to work!! Don't know where to start!! Really??
It's raining torrential outside and here I am sitting in front of my laptop, gazing nowhere, lost in a neverland. Thinking about all things that are not right. I have read scores of self help books. They all speak the same old statement. "You are 100% responsible for your life." That includes everything you can perceive from any of your 5 senses (may be the 6th as well, if at all it exists). What an outrageous statement is that! Why would I ever mess things up then. Why would I ever let my parents get on my nerves everyday then? Why would I be so clueless and shy to start writing about my feelings in a platform with a pseudonym. God! I must be the exception which these Spiritual Gurus must be talking of. I must be different. I must have come from a place where no living creature other than the damned me was manufactured! That's why I deserve not to be treated well. Rather I deserve not to treat MYSELF well. I have to prove myself to the world of all wonderful creations of our loving God, in order to claim(not even own) my share of goodies which otherwise everybody else is supposed to possess no matter what. Wait, am I the only one who thinks on those lines or you, my lovely (and considerate..lol) reader can resonate with it? I am assuming that you are aware of your worth 'coz you are the child of God. I hope you know you do not owe anyone anything in order to claim your share of the infinite and unconditional love. If not go through texts of God. Or wait you may also go through various self help books. They all speak the same, that you are an infinite being. Really powerful and is the source of all emotions. Or else, assuming that you are unwilling to go through any text, just have a look what going on in your head space. You will hear a lot of noise, like the busier than the busiest fish market in the world. It might drive you crazy and the traumatized poor being that you will become will quickly look for some sedation in the form of comfort food, television series, alcohol and what not!! YOU ABANDON YOURSELF!!!
Like an abandoned car which was once a beast, start believing that you are just a junk metal box. You are not desired and loved since you are of no use and is abandoned. You were not created with the same love as other beautiful cars are manufactured. You start thinking that you are an exception! Can you relate the feeling to mine in the opening where I thought I was an exception. So, let us all not dwell upon such ARROGANCE! Let us all remind ourselves how magnificent we are by screaming in our mind that we LOVE OURSELVES!!! No matter what. We have our back as the universe has ours! We are special. There are no exceptions. Somebody know it and somebody not. Let us celebrate each moment of our lives. The pitter patter of the rain, the sight of drenched crows resting trees, the incessant nagging of our parents. Bless the world , bless yourself. When you do not know what to do but have the urge, do not hold yourself back just do something. Life is not about making a mark. True joy is when you decide to dwell in this state. I decide to celebrate each moment of my life. I celebrate the writing my first post (no matter how is it). I commit to love myself unconditionally, no matter what and not buy into the whims and fancies of my whacky mind. I choose to bless my flaws. I will allow it to be as long as they want. I would not indulge in resisting them with all might only to make their persistence perennial. I vow not to abandon myself ever and if I ever do just remind me my friend :). Together we will grow and together we will fall. And the promise would be to still hold on to the unconditional love which the world might despise and get up each time and live. We have come to live so will we and create our own well being as that is what we are showered with all the time by our creator whether we realize it or not!
