Day 209 – Final step’s are the hardest (22/03/2019)

A little over one week is left now my friends, then my fiancée joins me to finally start our new family properly. Living together and no timer counting down to an other goodbye. But I would be lying if I said this has been an easy time. Its emotionally taxing on both of us now. The final steps really are the hardest. All I can do now is write down some advice on how to deal with those last steps, call it therapy for me if you will.

What do you do, when your senses are lying to you? When you live in a realm that you are thinking you are going to crash but you are not. Thinking that you can’t make it but you can. Thinking you are in danger but you are safe. I’m talking about exhausted emotions. Don’t be moved by exhausted emotions.

See I learned that when you get tired, you cant trust how you feel. When your emotions are exhausted they will send you false signals. They make you think you are in danger when you’re not. They make you think you can’t trust who you can. They make you think people hate you, who love you. They will make you lash out at people who are really trying to help you. Because you have exhausted emotions, you are tired from the long and hard journey.

When you get tired your perception of the situation is altered. When you get tired you will be scared when you are safe. When you get tired you will be holding on to what’s familiar and missing the fact you can hold on to the promise right before you. When you get tired you make dumb decisions. Its like flying a plane but you cant trust the dials, in other words you feel like you are going to crash when you are safe.

My friends there is nothing wrong with being tired, but always remember you made it through tough times that tried everything in you that could be tried, and you made it safely to the other side. But now in a moment of celebration you are standing here, still fearful you will drown in 10cm of water? Don’t trust those emotions! When you are tired your feelings are off balance, your emotions are crazy, you get angry about stuff that’s not important. When you are tired you can not live under your own counsel, if you listen to your own counsel you will give up in 10cm of water…

So my friends keep on flying, but don’t read the dials. You are closer now than you have ever been in your life. And soon you will land and embrace all your dreams, and you will see they have become reality.

This is Wolf of Sarcasm signing off.
~ End of day 209 ~