What it feels like to live with depression

in #life7 years ago (edited)


The constant feeling of low, without any apparent reason is a monster in disguise. It emanates through your entire being, infiltrating every aspect of your life gradually. You wear a mask every day to your workplace. Family and friends start becoming strangers. The growing number of days behind you, desensitizes you to the point when nothing makes any sense anymore. A voice inside your head whispers that your best days are over, and that your irrelevant to society.


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You realize that, in trying to cheer yourself up all these years, you had only distracted yourself from the truth. It was beyond your comprehension then, and so it was easy to be dismissed as this temporary sadness that hits every one of us every now and then.
But, it is little known fact, unless you have experience it yourself, its a thin November rain, enough to chill what was once warm inside. Depression is anything but sadness, it's a growing general disinterest towards everything, you have trouble getting up in the morning, daily chores takes longer than usual. Sometimes it manifest itself in the form of physical pain, emotional outbursts or even panic attacks.
Of course you don't feel it right away. Unlike most other ailments, whose origin can be traced back to a specific moment, this feeling tiptoes into your life gradually. It's only after it has rooted itself inside you deep that that you realize that the part of you that counted stars,found solace in the simplest things, is now lost. The scathing irony of being advised to speak to someone lies in their assumption, that after all this, you're ready to pick yourself from the dust, but the truth remains, it's the only choice you have left.

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