How To Handle Stress In A Heated Argument
Recently someone pissed me off so much, I could hardly keep my emotions under control. I wanted to scream and punch this person in the face. You guys know me well by now, so you can imagine how hurt I was to feel this way. "Damn you are better than this. What's all the self-development for if when life gives you a chance to prove yourself, you won't?" - so I thought to myself.
I took a few deep breaths and asked for the problem to be discussed later because I did not want to kick this person with words. I didn't want to say what the anger was about to say. I rarely see so red, I rarely face a situation anymore where I feel so let down, but I knew if I tried to discuss it under stress, I would have just created more problems.
I've been using this technique for more than a year and is getting better, but as I rarely argue in such a heated psychological state, I would not say that the technique is well rehearsed. I calm my emotions before I respond to something. I can do much more damage to the situation if I let myself get carried away by my emotions. So I'd take a break so I can think clearly.
Of course, I could have told this person off and disrespected them the way they did with me. But what would that say about me? If I allow them to steal my energy, to lower my vibrations, to say nasty things, I just lower myself somewhere, where I don't want to be. I. am. just. not. the. person. who. hurts. back. anymore.
I was given an opportunity to put everything I learned about development into good use, so I chose not to become who I used to be. I walked away because I needed time.
I was also communicating what I was doing. Though my voice was full of distress, I was trying to keep my cool. For a long time, I'm not trying to win an argument by defeating the other person. I can only win if we both win. That's why I saw it better to extract myself from it, because I did not want to bury them with my words. They had long apologized, so all I would have said would have just hurt them back. Then everybody loses.