A valentine day special: When did being horny become a crime?

I know I said I'd only be putting out short stories but my next one isn't quite ready yet. Thus, I decided to rant a bit to fill in the void of my absence. And that brings us to the question of WHEN did BEING HORNY BECOME a CRIME?

I'll tell you when. It became a crime when a majority of you decided to live your lives like a movie made up of scenes from Spartacus, sprinkled in a few poorly edited scenes from Fifty shades of Grey, and then just doused it all with some Basic Instincts fuel. But such a life isn't such a bad thing as long as you are still a decent human being.
A friend of mine was on her way to work one early morning. Strolling the few blocks to her destination, she noticed a man was walking behind her but she paid him no mind. That's until another man across the street whistled to get her attention and pointed behind her. She turned to look and lo and behold, the man behind her who she'd ignored was in hot pursuit while furiously jerking off into a plastic bag.

Let's just say she was traumatized for the rest of that day.
Or what about my other friend who was heading home in a public bus but was so tired she dozed off. Only for her to wake up to find some weirdo had splattered his goo all over her face while she slept. To be fair, he actually apologized before he ran off the bus, but that doesn't make it right.
Then there are the newsworthy events like the couple that decided to pull their pants off and initiate humping in the middle of a Domino Pizza outlet. Or the couple who decided an open bus station in broad daylight would be the perfect scenario for some fellatio.
C'mon! Have we really lost what separates us from the animals? Are we so decadent that it's okay to join the stray dogs and rats that go xrated NatGeo Wild in public. And even if we wanna act like animals, we should at least have the decency to act like more sensible animals. Perhaps cats. I don't believe I've ever seen two cats get busy.

Oh well...

Being horny was never a crime until we made it a crime by wielding our reproductive organs like we are possessed.

It's Valentine's Day and we need to rethink how we go about dealing with our horniness. It's cool to express yourself and want to share your "milk of human kindness" but not to the degree of being a deviant and public sex offender. Etiquette still stands - No means NO and mutual consent is required before penetration or even groping. Show some goddamn respect!
That said, there are certain types of subtle-ninja level-public indecency I do respect. For example, ladies walking around with a remote controlled vibrator strategically inserted while their finger rests lazily on the power button hidden in their purse. That's just ridiculous in a two thumbs up way.

Such people aren't embarrassing themselves or others while out in public. You can't judge a man or woman for what you can't see. You can only suspect and mind your blessed business.

But you might disagree with me on what counts as proper standards for human conduct when horny. If you are a naysayer, the comment section is open to your unique perspective. And if you agree with me, holler at your man and let's build up some STEEM.
Happy Valentine's Day Steemians! Show that love like you mean it but with respect
Deuces!