Why Kyrgyzstani Football Is Amazing & Why Socialism Is Actually Capitalism (Or Whatever Else You Want To Believe)

Imagine this: one night you're strolling through town and you end up meeting an old friend. This dude is super excited and thrilled to talk about how amazed he is by Kyrgyzstani football. He says, with a lot of gusto, that the Kyrgyz game is fantastic and that their football is at a peak. The Kyrgyztanis are unmatched in how they play. And then he jumps over to basketball and confidently exclaims that in recent years the Albanians are among the best basketball teams and he considers them the favorite to win the next world championship. Your reaction would probably be an all-encompassing bewilderment, accompanied by blurred eyes and fingers that are rapidly dialing 911 on your cellphone because, obviously, your friend is in need of urgent psychological help.

Now imagine he told you that he has had enough of Croatian neoliberalism and the free market? Would you believe him? If you read any of the Croatian free market publications, you would not, but probably, the average Croat would not notice that there was something weird about that specific grievance. After all, this information is supplied to the Croatian people by many media outlets, leading politicians, and even some professors of economics. If you believe that Croatia is a neoliberal country, bursting with free market, then you should not be surprised either when someone tells you that Hungary is one of the most populous countries in the world, or that Suriname is terribly large or if someone told you to go to Egypt because there is incredible abundance there.

Now you may think I'm crazy, but I'm not. Kyrgyzstan is the 92nd country in the FIFA football rankings, Albania is 92nd in the FIBA Basketball team rankings. Hungary is the 92nd most populous country, and Suriname is the 92nd largest country in the world, while Egypt is 92nd in the world per capita GDP. All of these positions of the listed countries are equivalent to the world's position of Croatia on the Heritage index of economic freedom, which values market freedoms.

That is why, when someone starts to talk about Croatian neoliberalism, just mention why you think Kyrgyz football is awesome. You'll get along splendidly.