All the shrimp in Britain have cocaine in them

When I first started this blog it was during a particular Presidential election season where almost all the news was stretching the truth, altering videos, applying filters to certain places or people to make them look worse or better than they were depending on the perspective of the news agent in question and other nefarious and devious things like that. I started this blog in order to point out the obvious misgivings of the main-stream-media.

These days though, I think it is pretty widely understood that all news is lying to you all the time and it isn't really even special when something like this gets pointed out.

In short, I got bored of identifying what became rather obvious information to anyone with an IQ above room temperature (in Celsius). Lately, I have been looking at puff pieces and how absurd certain things in the world are and this one definitely caught my eye.

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Call them prawns, call them shrimp, I don't care. We are still talking about the same creature. In a shell (pun intended) the creatures that were collected from all over England were tested for various things. The researched were actually looking for banned pesticides, they found some of those as well but they also found something they weren't necessarily looking for.

While some of the areas had prawns that tested positive for certain pesticides ALL of the shrimps from ALL of the testing points contained traces of cocaine in them. Ketamine, Xanax, and diazepam was also found in a great many of them, but cocaine was found in all of them.

Now if this was just one location next to a party zone in London it would be a bit understandable but this was taken from a ton of different locations as the below map will show.

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I'm not from the UK and I have never been there, but I am going to go ahead and presume that some of these areas are rural and it is unlikely that the waterways are all like the Thames.

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This is another story entirely but I think it is a bit shameful that one of the cities in a country that seems to get great pleasure out of lecturing the rest of the world on how they treat their nature would have such an awfully polluted river running through it. While I do not know this for sure, I would imagine that there are very few people bold enough to swim in that.

The article's absurdity doesn't just end at the discovery of the cocaine but it concludes with some people in power suggesting that this is a good reason to have an increased crackdown on the "war on drugs." Yeah guys, do that, it has worked out exceptionally well for every country that has ever tried to do that.

Plus, it doesn't seem to be harming the shrimps so honestly, who gives a shit?

Maybe this could be an opportunity for someone to make some sort of crazy horror movie like one I recall but did not watch called "Cocaine Bear". Actually, I think I am going to look that up today because I am sure it is awful.

The next time you order a prawn cocktail though you can rest easy knowing that him and his boys may have had a big party night in the recent past.