Sukoon/ سکون/ Peace

There should be an extra day between Sunday and Monday to prepare yourself for Monday – not my original idea, but some netizen's heartfelt wish that spoke directly to my heart last night when I entered home with my hands full of all sizes of bags. It was only a quick trip to my parents' over the weekend; although I prepared for the Monday before leaving, I still needed time to get back into the weekly rhythm. For some reason, the stars aligned in my favour overnight (only there were no actual stars, something else was at play, involving thunder and wet roads in the morning) because Monday started slowly. I delegated the school drop-off duty to my husband, who was around, and enjoyed a peaceful breakfast with him afterwards.

I don't like the depressing transition from Summer to Winter, but today, this crisp and chill fall breeze in the morning air, made me pause, breathe, and reflect on the quiet contentment I've grown into. There's something about this view from my bedroom which calms my nerves. It's nothing extraordinary, just a backyard with stubborn weeds, a couple of fruit trees and a fence of canna lilies.

We have worked a lot on this small piece of land to make it look a little tidy, to keep insects and other nasty reptiles away and to have a private space for sun-bathing in winter.

^{Initial days of tidying up}

I like the quiet and peace of this view because I can only hear nature here — the chirping of birds, soft rustling of leaves and hissing of water when the land needs to quench its thirst. Hardly anybody comes around this side of the house and no roaring engines speed through here.

So, this silence, absence of noise from the material world, made me reflect how much I crave this 'sukoon' (peace). The 'sukoon' in 'saakin' (stillness) — to be able to cherish and appreciate small things by slowing down. To have enough time to sit by the window and do nothing, or just do my own thing.

I have never been a social person, and I hardly ever initiate any socialisation. If I do, I make sure I don't overdo it because it makes me cranky. I don't know if it makes sense, but if I don't get to spend a good chunk of my time in my own company, I get annoyed. I feel like others are taking control of my life. Although they mean no harm but I do take my solitude very seriously. I love being able to visit my parents more often than I could in the past years but these short trips are packed with activities. Whenever I come back, I just want to nestle in my own bubble for some time — to slow down until I'm mentally parked in my comfortable space where the routine is predictable. The reason why I quickly unpack and get done with the laundry as if I never left.

In this era where hustle culture is glorified, where those who choose not to be a part of this fold are looked down upon, when all they want is to 'live'. Nobody should have to prove their worth by meeting some societal standards at the expense of their 'sukoon'. Anyway, hustling/working is a whole different debate which I do not intend to indulge in.

Just this — 'sukoon' is the linchpin that truly anchors life. Maybe we don't need an extra day but just learn to refuse to rush, to allow ourselves to slow down, to do what makes us happy, to be a little selfish.

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~ Random thoughts typed on Monday morning