This would be nice, and I try to do this, but...

it takes two to tango. And, when the other side has intentions that are not inline with coming to a mutual understanding, then ... what do you do?

Many times the wife/girlfriend will start an argument. And, it often has nothing to do with what they are arguing over. So, even if you listened very intently, and were very sincere about finding a mutual resolution, you couldn't, because they aren't upset over what they brought up.

• They want more attention.
• They want more control.
• They are upset by something they imagined you did, but can't bring that up, because the thought was obviously crazy, but they still feel angry.
• They want more excitement in the relationship.
• They want to break off the relationship, but they want you to pull the trigger.

And so, the above is great, but I run into too many situations where I am not dealing with a rational, sane, resolution seeking person.