#Beware of the "Good Student Mentality" in Middle Age

There was a popular topic on Weibo:
Do you feel ashamed to take leave in the workplace?

Background information and explanation for the of the article: helping English readers better understand and connect with the content.

This is a common experience for many people who feel guilty or fear being perceived as lazy when they need time off.

The root cause of this mindset is attributed to the "good student mentality," which refers to the belief that approval and validation can only be obtained by conforming to societal standards.

Years later, Xiao Yi recalls the fear of negative criticism rather than joy when reminiscing about those times.
This mentality is deeply ingrained in us from childhood, as we strive to be the "good child" in the eyes of our parents, the "good employee" in the eyes of our bosses, and so on.

The harder to try, the more likely are to fall into negative emotions.
The negative effects of the good student mentality, the story of a YouTuber named Xiao Yi, who shared his experiences from primary school.
The primary school teacher's emphasis on writing book annotations and praising those who wrote the most led to repetitive and meaningless comments.
However, the pursuit of approval did not bring lasting happiness.
Xiao Yi even went to extreme lengths, such as copying numerous pages and filling in every blank space during exams, to please the teacher.
The detrimental impact of the good student mentality in various aspects of life, such as career, motherhood, and relationships.

The desire for recognition and the fear of negative comments, which often lead to self-blame, confusion, and a destructive cycle of self-doubt.

The more conform, the harder it is to earn respect.
The primary manifestation of the good student mentality is described as conformity or being a "people-pleaser."
TV drama "Psychologist" and the character of Xiao Mo, who constantly accommodates others in the workplace. Despite his efforts to please, Xiao Mo doesn't earn genuine respect and is even exploited by colleagues.

This serves as a cautionary tale to demonstrate that blindly pleasing others does not lead to goodwill or fulfillment.
The story of writer Liu Tong, who experienced a similar struggle with accommodating others. His reluctance to refuse his classmates' requests to borrow his CDs resulted in the loss of over a hundred CDs, as many of them were not returned.
Learning to refuse and establish personal boundaries that Liu Tong discovered a more respectful and humble response from those around him.

The book "The Courage to Be Disliked" to emphasize the importance of living a life free from the fear of breaking relationships.
That a healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and the courage to express oneself authentically.
By breaking free from the good student mentality and embracing one's own desires and values, blessings and good fortune can come naturally.
When you become less accommodating, that's when you unlock an extraordinary life.
The story of a person who deviated from the traditional path and went on to achieve success. This individual seized a business opportunity in an era dominated by coal stoves and ventured into selling gas cylinders.
Their boldness and refusal to stop despite discouragement led to the establishment of a successful gas company.
Years later, when he recalls those times, he doesn't show any joy on his face; instead, he remembers the fear of negative criticism.

In life, we often find ourselves trapped in such a vicious cycle.
To support our family, achieve career advancement, and take on undesirable tasks that others avoid, we desire recognition from our superiors.
However, despite all our efforts, we often end up unappreciated.
As new mothers, we want to provide comprehensive protection and care for our children, but we often blame ourselves for accidental injuries, feeling constant remorse.
Entering into marriage, while joyfully managing our own household, we frequently find ourselves using harsh words over trivial matters, even when it's unnecessary.
Even in work situations, after disagreeing with others, we repeatedly question ourselves if we were too "harsh" in our words…
We strive for perfection in everything and fear negative comments within that framework.

If there is a slight deviation, if it doesn't meet our expectations, we fall into self-blame, confusion, and fear.
We keep doubting ourselves and become increasingly self-destructive.
If you find yourself in this situation, you need to be vigilant: the good student mentality is destroying you.
Discover the key to unlocking an extraordinary life: embrace your true self, break free from conformity, and embark on a journey of self-discovery and fulfillment.

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