Philosophy in real life: What does it take to change yourself forever?

If there is something you want to start or quit doing forever, you probably tried already a zillion times and ended up going back to your old habits. Back to smoking, back to not watching your diet, back to not exercising. You probably feel terrible about that. Maybe you gave up already. Maybe you tell yourself that you are a failure. Maybe you blame your lack of resolve or motivation.

If you are blaming yourself for not being able to change your habits forever, you may find comfort in some recent research that shows, that none of the factors we tend to see as contributing to success or failure in behavior change, can really explain what is going on. Rather it is a complex combination of factors that determine if we will succeed in bringing an enduring change into our lives or not. So isn't there something that we can do? Should we just give up and accept our destiny?

I think not. I think there is something that determines, by itself and in spite of all other factors, if we will succeed or fail. And this is something that it is entirely up to us.

So what is it? Well, let's think about all the factors that we consider as contributing to success or failure. Factors like intelligence, motivation, resolve and even physical appearance. Ultimately they all have one thing in common: That weather we possess them or not is a matter of luck.

So it looks like we must come to the conclusion that ultimately, whether we succeed or fail, is just a matter of luck.

But in fact, this is not exactly so because there is something else at play, and that is if we recognize how lucky we are or not.

Take Bill Gates Gates for example. In 1981 he got very lucky. IBM was looking for an operating system for their new PC and they happened to turn to Gates who told them that Microsoft does not make operating systems but he happens to know someone who does. Then he got even luckier when IBM mistakenly allowed Microsoft to remain the intellectual property owner of DOS, which allowed MS to sell its OS to the makers of PC compatibles. Gates never forgot that it was this chain of coincidences that allowed him to make his fortune. If he wouldn't remember that, he would probably not become the richest man in the world.

I know what you're thinking now. You're thinking, “Well I'm not Bill Gates!”. Well perhaps, but you are still very lucky, and this fact creates some huge opportunities for you, if only you will know how to exploit them.

How are you so lucky? Well, for one thing, you are alive! Life itself is an extremely unlikely thing. And not only that you are alive, but you are also conscious, which is darn amazing. And yes, I know, sometimes you wish you could be unconscious a little more often, but think about it, you have the ability to change yourself and change the world around you in a way that only a tiny tiny bit of the universe can. So what are you doing with this amazing fact? Probably not enough.

Success is all about recognizing your luck and knowing how to exploit it. It's a fact, but it is a fact that we prefer to ignore. We prefer to believe that it is all up to us, that if we will work hard and be willing to suffer and sacrifice for a good cause, we will make it against all odds. Well, this is almost true. We have to work hard. This part is right. We also have to be willing to feel some discomfort and make some sacrifices. Granted. But what is not true is, that the odds are against us. The odds are in our favor! It is only our laziness and lack of faith that makes us blame the odds. Once we realize that, once we learn to appreciate how lucky we are, that's when so much more becomes possible for us.