Why does this all feel so fake (Day 55 of 100 -- Poetry challenge)

in #poetry7 years ago
  • click the video for the spoken word and image fun.

You are a slippery slope
a crooked yoke
a slanted slab

Your words are crisscrossed
tied knots
tangled tomes

We are seedless fruit
wilted and waterless
wanton yet sterile

Our time is a hollowed home
a gutted rut
a modified myth
a synthetic mist
a secret sickle
a sickly sow

My heart is a burnt stake
a blistered cake
a barren fate
second hand
second rate
severed date

Screen Shot 2018-04-30 at 2.49.11 PM.png

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Brava, Mamadini. The height of craft and expression:)

:: Blush :: Thank you. <3

Stillborn love is the saddest of all ...

Noooo... not a burnt steak! ;)

I watched the video this time. Drip drip.

hehehe. So, I thought about 'steak' but it seemed to easy, or at least obvious. "burnt stake" has a lot of play, so in the spoken version 'steak' is going to be what most people think and I like that, yet, the intentional use of 'stake' brings in the ideas of stake through the heart, burnt offerings, as well as the many cultures (still) that dispatch corpses with a Stake (the fear of them rising up as ghouls is very real in some places) before interring them to the earth.... I could go on, but you get the picture, it is more complex and yet fits into the piece here, as well as does that wonderful thing that I love so.... Word Play.

Thank you, @hrissm. I'm very much enjoying your visits. :)

I def heard stake, but I’m intrinsically carnivorous, so I thought of steak. But I don’t want it burnt. And I get the whole metaphor around the charred stake :)

;)

I'll take my steak rare...

Striking poem @mamadini. The video has a haunting effect. I like how the title was never mentioned directly in the poem. That makes me think more about the meaning.

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