Beware of Covert Narcissists: The Big Signs

Attention-seeker, vanity feeder, selfish exploiter; all these catch-phrases are synonyms to one trait of the dark triads possessed by some people which is narcissistic trait. To some who still couldn't get a clearer picture of this, a narcissist is someone who is overly self-involved, vain and selfish. They can also be cocky, manipulative and demanding.

Narcissism doesn't only exist in outstanding superficial charm of someone, or even the manipulative tongue-twisting exploiter, but it also exist in a dormant and silent level. This is where a covert narcissist come. A narcissist can be an extrovert and introvert. An extrovert narcissist is a lot easier to detect but the covert narcissists are the one you should watch out for.

So, how do to differentiate between those two type of narcissists? Below are 5 big signs that you are living or surrounded by cover narcissists?

1. They use sad stories, problems to gain attention, not to find a solution

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This is not just another 'sad story, feel sorry for me' tactic so other people would symphatize their situation, it is their desire to be the center of attention, it's a basic need for them. If the person in your life dominates the conversation, exaggerates their bad situatiin, and only wants to talk about how terrible his/her life all of the time, you are definitely dealing with a covert narcissist.

2. They subliminally put others down to bring themselves up

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A covert narcissist uses others without consideration or sensitivity. They will give judgement which would always be masked as the voice of reason. But if you pay attention, they'd make comparison of how others are worse than them, and a humble-brag tactic is their main weapon. Narcissists show little or no remorse, but instead blames others. Covert narcissists are often quick to judge, criticize, ridicule, and blame you. Some narcissists are emotionally abusive. By making you feel inferior, they boost their own ego to make them feel better about themselves.

3. They're charismatic and persuasive on interpersonal level

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Cover narcissists can be very charismatic and persuasive behind public's eyes. When they're interested in you, they make you feel very special and wanted. But, it's only for their own gratification. Once they lose interest in you or most likely after they've gotten what they want, and became bored, they may drop you without a second thought. A covert narcissist can be very engaging and captivating so long as you're fulfilling what he/she desires.

4. They always on the passive-aggresive mode

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A narcissist will use his or her romantic partner, child, friend, or colleague to meet unreasonable, self-serving needs, fulfill unrealized dreams, or cover up self-perceived inadequacies and flaws. They will silently manipulate by using guilt (guilt-trap) or coerce you into making unreasonable sacrifices for them. Sometimes, they will agree to your suggestion but then will do the exact opposite of what they agreed because in their mind, they are always right. Their level of toleration is very low.

5. They are overly sensitive

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Do not mistake emphaty and EQ with being an overly sensitive person. Covert narcissists are extremely sensitive to criticism, even it is a constructive one and will respond with a heated argument or cold detachment. They subliminally enjoy spreading and arousing negative emotions to gain attention, feel powerful, and keep you insecure and off-balance. They are easily upset at any real or perceived slights or inattentiveness. They may throw a tantrum if you disagree with their views or don't live up to their expectations.