In a relationship, sex becomes a matter of selfishness or unselfishness.

in #sex8 years ago

Before I was in a relationship, I didn't have much sex. My first sexual intercourse occurred while I was travelling overseas on a holiday by myself. I met a woman in hawaii at the airport, and later had sex with her.

I had done a lot of masturbating prior to this. I had often thought about having sex, and I found that my sexual drive caused me to behave in ways that I normally wouldn't. 

For example I would follow women I found attractive, or I would try to look up their skirts, or I would wander about at night to try to look into bedroom windows.

When I met someone that I knew I would marry, I thought I would be able to have sex as much as I liked because my wife would always be available to have it with me. This turned out to be untrue. My wife didn't want to have sex as often as I wanted to, and I found myself still masturbating while I waited for the next time to come.

I don't think women understand the power of their husband's sexual drive. 

Men are attracted to women by how they look. It doesn't matter if they are strangers. Men will look at a woman dressed in  a certain way and will start feeling horny. As soon as they ejaculate, the feeling of horniness goes, but will return in a couple of hours. When the sexual desire comes upon a man, it becomes his dominating thought, and it demands to be satisfied. That's why many men then masturbate in order to relieve the pressure on their thoughts. If unrelieved the pressure grows and if the wife is unwilling to have sex, then some men will look for other women to have sex with. 

The sexual pressure is constantly present in a man's mind until relief comes.

Most women are not as interested in sex as men. 

Women are more interested in relationship.  Women have sex with a man in the hope that the man will want to stay in their life and have a relationship with them. 

Some women use sex as a bait to catch a man, and then when the relationship is happening, they are not as interested in sex anymore. Women enjoy sex, but as part of a fulfilling relationship. Men just want to put their penis into a vagina and ejaculate. As soon as ejaculation occurs, a lot of men lose all interest in the woman. The woman then feels hurt and used because she didn't get what she wanted which was relationship. Men will say anything they think a woman wants to hear in order to have sex.

Wives who have sex with their husbands when not really wanting it, feel used by their husbands. Women also can be selfish when they demand sex from men who are not in the mood. 

God created sex to be enjoyed in a committed relationship between a man and a woman who are one person physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. 

Sex is a part of the relationship, not the main thing. If a man demands sex then he is being selfish, and his relationship will be harmed if the woman gives sex to the man when she is not wanting to have it. If the man wants sex with his wife, then he must give her what she wants. He must romance her and give her a good relationship. Then if sex happens, it will be enjoyable for both of them. This will build the relationship.

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Life is Complicated

I personally have a huge sex drive, this doesn't mean I happen to want sex Every time my wife does. Sometimes I'm not in the mood and it's strictly for her benefit, a part of life. Sometimes she's not in the mood and it's strictly for my benefit. None of it is demanded or forced, simply dealing with the pressures of life, around the schedules life throws at us.

There are times we're in synch and other times we're not. The stronger the relationship, the more times you'll be in synch. :)

Relationships Are About Communication, Trust and Honesty

and sex. lol The communication is the key, open up about everything, be honest about everything. Talk to your spouse about everything in your life.

The closer you are in a relationship, the more sex you're going to have and the closer you're going to be(reciprocal).

Thank you for your comment! I agree with you completely! The main thing is to find a compromise and mutual understanding. Everything will be fine!

Women use sex as a weapon, it's true. But this weapon does not work after 10 years of marriage;) This gun is loaded with blanks often :)

Sex should be a gift. A Farewell to Arms! : wink

WOW excellent post! I respect honesty. Upvote