People do have a lot of emotional triggers and ways to be manipulated into almost anything. These things are, sorry to say, even installed during our happy childhood, such as the excessive feeling of the shame, gas-lightning, fear, control... all of it.
Most of the parents chose an easy route to control their children, and forget what they are doing, or they do it because they are a mess themselves as you implied.

All and everything becomes because we allow it, and the fear makes the worst things possible.