Guardiola as the next manager of Italy: laughing to keep from crying

In the fantastical world of the Italian internet – which becomes even more incredible when the conversation turns to football – a couple of juicy tall tales are currently doing the rounds, linked to our national team.

The first, an ‘evergreen’ rumour we’ve been hearing repeated for about twelve years now, is that of Italy’s possible repêchage for the upcoming World Cup, in place of Iran. Nothing new, given that on the two previous occasions when Italian football failed to qualify for the World Cup, similar stories were trotted out, although this time the level of fabrication has reached extraordinary heights.

According to some newspapers, in fact, President Trump himself has reportedly intervened, using his emissaries at FIFA to push for Italy’s participation in place of the Middle Eastern national team, which is currently embroiled in a war against the US and Israel.

I cannot rule out the possibility that Iran, preoccupied with far more serious issues than sport, might actually decide to withdraw from the tournament, but in the event of a withdrawal, for this or any other reason, there is absolutely no chance that the organisers in Zurich would opt to grant Italy a wildcard (or arrange a mixed play-off between the excluded teams), effectively taking a place away from the Asian confederation.

Even more amusing, however, is the second rumour of recent days, namely that Pep Guardiola is set to take the helm of the Italian national team. Rumours from pundits and insiders advocating for the arrival of the current Manchester City manager to fill the delicate role of Azzurri head coach are multiplying exponentially.

With Guardiola, so the common thinking goes, our national team could finally flourish once more and return to savouring the taste of success it has known in the past, perhaps even spicing it all up with a dazzling brand of football capable of bringing the crowd at the stadium to their feet.

Qualification for the next World Cup would not only be a foregone conclusion, but an Italy playing tiki-taka would turn up for the 2030 tournament challenging, as in the good old days, the tournament’s big favourites. It’s a pity that this outburst of enthusiasm fails to take into account a couple of details, which are by no means minor.

The real problem with Italian football, far more so than that of the manager, lies in a system currently geared solely towards preserving the status quo. No one is really interested in the reforms needed for a genuine revival, but only in placing the right people in the right positions, aimed at providing the necessary cover for Inter’s troubles.

Even if Guardiola were to accept the job (and there is currently no valid reason to believe he would), he would still find himself having to contend with a system that has failed to produce talent for several years now, yet pushes certified duds of the calibre of Bastoni, Barella or Dimarco into the national team, describing them as players on a par with the best in Europe.

Furthermore, why would Guardiola, who currently earns around €25 million a year, give up a massive salary to settle for Italian crumbs (the FIGC, with the help of a few sponsors, could at best offer a salary of around €5 million)?

Because of the difficulty of the challenge? Because of the affection he has always shown towards our movement? Unlikely, if not impossible. The only possibility would be for his ‘friends of friends’ to summon him to some bar in Milan to make him the classic offer he cannot refuse, as we have already seen with former Inter players, but naturally we hope that never happens.

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