SAC-Wk122 — Is Cohabiting called Marriage?

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If someone lives with a woman and bears children without paying her bride price, do we say they are couples or married?

They cannot be called married or couples, but I regard them as cohabiting partners since there is no special ceremony organized for them and also without the consent of both families, who fully support and organized a proper marriage for them.

In Africa, for instance, bride price is important, and it is an essential dowry that a husband must pay to his wife-to-be. Without that, such a marriage is considered invalid. The only time we can consider them as married people is if all the religious or cultural requirements are met.

During my undergraduate level, I saw several students who lived as husband and wife for about 3 to 4 years, meaning they lived together in the same house until they finished their program, although they did not have children. When we finished our final year, both of them departed without a legal marriage, so they should be considered as being in a cohabiting relationship.

What's your view on cohabiting? Is it a short cut to getting married?

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Cohabiting is not considered to be a shortcut to marriage, although it works for some people who have the opportunity to study each other's behavior—what their do's and don'ts are. By the time they are fully married as husband and wife, they understand each other. However, if their cohabitation lasts for three years without being married, such lovers may be unlikely to marry each other.

Some responsible ladies or women in the society in which we find ourselves try as much as possible to avoid it because they see it as an adulterous way in which a man takes advantage of their bodies without marrying them at the end of the day.

Are there advantages or disadvantages of cohabiting?

The following are the advantages and disadvantages of cohabiting.

Advantages:

Both partners will share house rent and other expenses, which can allow them to save money.

Living together will give them the opportunity to learn about each other's personal traits and develop an emotional connection due to the time they spend together.

Disadvantages:

They are not protected by any law, which does not grant either party the right to inherit property or assets.

Another disadvantage is that they may face societal disapproval, particularly from those who value traditional marriage, and they also have a higher chance of breaking up compared to legal marriages.

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Is it good to sexually test the person you want to marry before considering to marry them? What's your viewpoint?

It's not good at all; in fact, I totally disapprove of that because each of us has a different viewpoint. Some can view it from a religious aspect, whereas others view it through a cultural lens.

In Islam, for instance, both persons (boy and girl) who engage in this illicit act are called haram because the husband has not paid the dowry. If the sexual intercourse leads to pregnancy, the child they bear is regarded as a bastard because they were born without following the religious rites.

They must build their relationship on trust. Having sexual intercourse with your partner all the time will lead to a breakup, where your female partner will feel that both of you are not compatible, and you just want to make use of her body.

I invite

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