SAC-Wk122 — Is Cohabiting called Marriage?

Good day, everyone.
It’s really nice to take part in this amazing marriage contest. I hope everyone here is doing well. Discussions like this are important because marriage is one of the most sensitive and meaningful institutions in our society. Different cultures and religions see it differently, so sharing opinions helps us understand one another better.

If someone lives with a woman and bears children without paying her bride price, do we say they are couples or married?

This is a very common question, especially in today’s world where many people live together before formal marriage. In my own opinion, I believe such people can be called couples, but not fully married, because the bride price has not been paid. Marriage is not just about living together or having children. It is a union between two people that is usually recognized by law, culture, or religion.

From an Islamic point of view, marriage has clear conditions that must be fulfilled, such as consent, witnesses, and the payment of mahr (bride price). This is not just a personal opinion but something supported by the Holy Qur’an and Islamic teachings. Even if love exists and children are born, skipping these steps means the marriage is not fully valid according to Islam. So while society may see them as a family, religiously they are not yet properly married.

What’s your view on cohabiting? Is it a shortcut to getting married?

Cohabiting means living together with someone, usually a romantic partner, without being legally or traditionally married. In my view, cohabiting can sometimes act as a shortcut to marriage because some people use it to test compatibility or save money before doing the proper wedding rites. However, it is not 100% acceptable in Islam.

Cohabiting comes with many risks. There is often a lack of legal protection, unclear financial responsibilities, and emotional imbalance, especially if one partner is more committed than the other. There is also the issue of societal judgment, which can affect both families. Because of these reasons, cohabiting may look convenient, but it is not the best or safest path, especially from a religious perspective.

Are there advantages or disadvantages of cohabiting?

Yes, there are both advantages and disadvantages.

Advantages:
One advantage of cohabiting is that couples get to understand each other better on a daily basis. They learn about habits, attitudes, and lifestyle differences. It can also reduce wedding pressure and financial stress, especially for young people who are not yet financially stable.

Disadvantages:
The disadvantages are more serious. Cohabiting lacks legal and religious protection, which can leave one partner vulnerable if the relationship ends. It can also lead to emotional pain, especially when children are involved. In many cultures, it brings shame or criticism, particularly for the woman. Most importantly, it goes against Islamic teachings.

Is it good to sexually test the person you want to marry before considering marriage? What’s your viewpoint?

In my own view, it is not a good idea. Sexual testing before marriage can lead to emotional vulnerability, trust issues, and regret if the relationship does not work out. It can also blur boundaries and shift focus away from values like character, respect, and long-term commitment. Islam encourages modesty and patience, believing that intimacy should come after marriage to protect both partners emotionally and spiritually.

Conclusion

In conclusion, marriage is more than love, cohabiting, or having children. It is a serious commitment that should follow cultural, legal, and religious guidelines. While modern society may accept shortcuts, Islam teaches us to follow the proper path for our own protection and peace. Doing things the right way may take time, but it leads to a more stable and respectful union in the long run.

I invite @bossj23, @okere-blessing and @dprof to participate