SAC-Wk122 — Is Cohabiting called Marriage?

If someone lives with a woman and bears children without paying her bride price, do we say they are a couple or married?

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In most places of the world especially in African cultures if someone lives with a woman and bears children without paying her bride price, they are not considered married. Bride price is seen as a public and family recognition seal of marriage. Without paying bride price, the union may lack cultural, social, and sometimes legal recognition regardless of the children they have.

In this 21st century or legal context, where marriage is defined by civil registration, they are still not legally married unless they complete legal marriage procedures. In such a case, they are only generally regarded as a cohabiting partner or couple and not as a husband and wife. Having children doesn't automatically make them husband and wife until they are legally married.

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What's your view on cohabiting? Is it a shortcut to getting married?

Cohabiting means living together without formal marriage. It is not a shortcut to marriage it only depends on intention. Most people see cohabiting as a trial phase to test compatibility, whereas others see it as a comfort zone that delays or replaces marriage.

In my own view, cohabiting reduces the urgency to marry because responsibilities are already being shared without commitment. It can only lead to marriage when both partners clearly agree to marriage.

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Are there advantages or disadvantages of cohabiting?

Yes, there are advantages and disadvantages of cohabiting.

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Advantages	Disadvantages
Helps partners to understand daily habits and compatibility	It lack legal and cultural protection or backing
Financial sharing may reduce living cost	Emotional insecurity which is easy to walk away
Less pressure compared to formal marriage	Can delay marriage indefinitely
Allows people to assess emotional readiness	Creates confusion in family roles, especially with children.

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Is it good to sexually test the person you want to marry before considering marrying them? What's your viewpoint?

Millions of people believe sexual compatibility matters and should be explored beforehand to avoid future dissatisfaction. From a religious viewpoint and culture, thousands of people believe that sexual testing before marriage; it can reduce intimacy to performance, weaken trust and discipline, and lead to emotional bonding without commitment.