Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 116: My opinion on gender reveal during pregnancy.

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We live in an era where "if it's not on Instagram, did it really happen?" has taken over the pregnancy journey in Nigeria. Those days when a woman could keep her pregnancy hidden, wrapped under large boubou gowns till the baby crying was heard, are long gone.

Today, we are seeing a massive shift, what started as a cute trend amongst Hollywood stars and Nigeria's top celebrities like Davido and Chioma or the Adesuas, has finally trickled down to our everyday circles.

From Lekki to the Mainland, even in the hinterlands, couples are popping balloons, cutting cakes, and releasing coloured smoke to announce if it's a "Bobo" or a "Sisi" before the baby even arrives.
While the colours and aesthetics are beautiful, we must stop and ask: does this trend fit our current Nigerian reality? and is it necessary for us, or another expensive pressure?

With the present economic situation-Sapa is not smiling-our cultural beliefs concerning "monitoring spirits," and the situation of the nation generally, here is my take.

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If I'm being completely honest, it's really difficult to take modern versions of gender reveal parties seriously, not in the least because the very person who invented them now renounces the practice.

The Facts:

It's a trend widely credited to a blogger named Jenna Karvunidis, who in 2008 wrote a viral post about revealing her baby's gender via a cake with pink icing.

However, Karvunidis has since come out to express deep regret for starting the trend. In 2019 she revealed that the daughter she celebrated in that first party was now a gender-nonconforming child who favored suits over dresses.
"Who cares what gender the baby is?" Karvunidis has said. "I did at the time because we didn't live in 2019 and didn't know what we know now—that assigning focus on gender at birth leaves out so much of their potential."

If this is what the inventor of the trend believes-that it puts unnecessary emphasis on gender labels before a child is even born-then this provides a strong factual basis to reject any pressure to adhere to such a practice.

I accept the concept of gender reveal parties, but with a pinch of salt.

Scientifically and logistically speaking, it makes sense; knowing the gender helps parents prepare. You can paint the room the right color, buy specific clothes, and mentally prepare for the gender you are expecting.

The party adds to the joy and celebration of life. My acceptance is, however, very reluctant due to the "Nigerian Factor"-that is, our medical system. There are even factual cases of ultrasound scans having gone wrong.
Can you imagine throwing a sumptuous party to declare a boy because the scan said so, receiving blue gifts and naming the kid "Junior" only to go to the labour room and have a baby girl? The cacophony in terms of emotional and psychological confusion becomes high.

So, while I accept it to be fun, I believe it pays too great an allegiance to technology that isn’t always 100% perfect.

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Emphatically not.
We probably need to go in the other direction.
I personally feel that this tendency should be an exception and not a rule.
Consider the fact that Nigeria is currently going through one of its most trying economic times. A tin of baby formula costs close to the minimum wage today including the cost of diapers.

Social and Financial Pressure:

It has changed what was an intimate, small family moment. It puts pressure on expecting parents financially to have an event when it is actually a second baby shower in many instances, just for social media likes and views, without having a real desire to connect.

For an average couple on a tight budget, throwing a party just to "oppress" people on social media is a case of misplaced priorities. That money spent on cake, balloon decoration, and a DJ could be better saved for hospital bills or immunization costs.
We love Owambe in this country, but we must learn that financial stability is better than social media likes. Adopting this trend blindly puts unnecessary pressure on young couples just starting out.

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This has now become very dangerous. What began with the cutting of a cake became an "arms race" of explosives and stunts that threaten public safety.
Frankly speaking, this is a very risky trend in our society if we consider the spiritual and physical security factors.

The Spiritual/Cultural Angle:
There is a saying in Nigeria: "You do not count your chickens before they hatch." Our culture knows that pregnancy is a touch-and-go affair. By making such noise over a child that has not arrived, you are simply attracting "Village People," "Evil Eyes," or "Monitoring Spirits."

Whether you believe in superstition or not, there is wisdom in silence. If, God forbid, something happens to the pregnancy after some huge reveal party, the public embarrassment and pain are ten times worse.

Security Angle:
We find ourselves in the midst of very insecure times and kidnappings. Each time you flood the internet with photos of an extravagant gender reveal party, you are simply telling the world, and by extension, the criminals, that you have money to burn.
You are inadvertently marking yourself and your family as targets. In a country where security is not guaranteed, discretion proves to be one of the best forms of protection.

Safety Facts & Incidents:

The El Dorado Fire of 2020: A pyrotechnic device at a gender reveal party ignited a large-scale wildfire in California that would eventually burn over 22,000 acres, killing one firefighter, Charles Morton.

The Sawmill Fire, 2017: An off-duty US Border Patrol agent shot at an explosive target packed with Tannerite-a highly explosive substance-showing a blue cloud. There was a fire that reached 47,000 acres in Arizona, with $8 million in damages.

Fatalities:

In 2019, a homemade gender reveal pipe bomb exploded and immediately killed one 56-year-old Iowa woman by sending shrapnel into her head.

Just in 2021, two pilots died in Mexico when their plane crashed into the ocean as they attempted an aerobatic stunt to release pink smoke for a reveal party.

In New York, a soon-to-be dad was killed in 2021 when the device he was building for his reveal party exploded.

In view of these tragedies, the trend is objectively not safe when it extends beyond simple household items like cakes or balloons.

We've lost the plot. The health and safe arrival of a human being through pregnancy is the original joy. In creating some sort of theatrical performance out of the genitals of an unborn child, we've created a culture that puts "the show" over community safety and the reality of the child.

We are burning down forests and putting people's lives at risk for a glamorous Instagram photo with no thought about spiritual or financial implications.
We are merely imitating Western cultures, without filtering them through our Nigerian reality.

My advice to those yet to join the trend is simply:

• Cut your coat according to your size. Do not go into debt because of a 3-hour party. The baby will not care about whether there was blue smoke or not; the baby cares about food and comfort.

• Keep it Private. You can have a gender reveal without having the whole world watch. Do a private dinner with your spouse or just your parents and siblings. It is safer, cheaper, and more intimate.

• Have patience for the Naming ceremony.There is nothing wrong with our traditional "Outdooring." Let the baby arrive safely first. When the child is here, hale and hearty, we can then throw the biggest party in the world.

The Gender Reveal trend is colourful and exciting, but in modern-day Nigeria, wisdom is profitable. So, let's make safety, savings, and sanity come first over social media trends.

I invite @peacemike @okereblessing and @bossj23.