Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 129: why are mothers more celebrated than fathers

Let's think of a man waking up 4:30 in the morning, harmattan breeze blowing him, but he still carries his bag out for hustle. It is this same man that pays school fees, repair leaking roof, sacrifice his own dream so that his children can chase theirs. But when Mother’s Day or International Women’s Day reach, it's him that will buy gift, cook food, pay for the party. Yet when it reach his own day, silence will full everywhere. He do clap for others, but nobody clap for him.

For Nigeria and even worldwide, people do see women as natural caregivers. From childbirth to breastfeeding, from cooking to nurturing the children, society always paint women as emotional pillar of the home. And the truth is that they deserve it. Mother love is deep, sacrifice is visible, and everybody can relate to it.

But men? Men will be expected to “just do it.” If a woman cook, people will clap. If a man pay rent, people will say “It's his duty.” The world have normalize men sacrifice as responsibility, not to be act of love. That's why globally, women always be celebrated more, and everyone see them as emotional backbone, while men do carry financial and physical load quietly, without applause.

However, the only one peculiar celebration which I know for men is the Father’s Day. But how many people do even remember it? On Mother’s Day, community can organize special service or programs, school will do drama, shop will be running promo. But Father’s Day? Sometimes it will just pass like ordinary day.

I remember one year for my community, they give fathers small plastic bucket as gift. Meanwhile, on Mother’s Day, women collect wrapper, rice, and even cash gift. The difference is clear like day and night. Another time for my area, it was the men that gather themselves and buy suya and beer to mark Father’s Day, because nobody remember them. That one alone show that society have push men celebration to one corner.

Honestly, I'm not satisfied. Men deserve recognition too. Many men do die silently from stress, depression, and pressure because they always carry heavy responsibility without appreciation. If society continue to ignore men sacrifice, it will only worsen the silent struggle which them all are facing.

Celebrating men is not to be a competition with women. It should be a balance. If we love clap for mothers, we should also suppose to clap for fathers too. If we like to honor women for nurturing, we suppose to honor men for protecting and providing too. Both roles is very important, both deserve recognition.

Should Men Be Included? My Reasons

Yes, men suppose to be included. Let me break it down:

• Men do sacrifice silently: Many fathers do give up personal dream so that their children can succeed. That alone deserve celebration.

• Men can face societal pressure: If a man can't provide, society will mock him. But when he provide, nobody will clap. Celebrating men will surely ease that burden.

• Balance is important: Women can be celebrated for emotional strength, men suppose to be celebrated for resilience and responsibility.

• Encouragement for future generation: If boys grow up to see their father being celebrated, they will understand that sacrifice is not in vain.

In all the simple clear truth is that : women deserve their flowers, but men deserve their own too. Society which do celebrate only one pillar will eventually weaken the other. Men won't cry openly, but their heart is longing for recognition. Time as reach for us to start clapping for the silent drumbeat of men, because without them, many of the celebrations we do enjoy won't even exist. Because behind every celebrated mother, it's a silent man that make it possible.

Cc:
@steem4nigeria