SAC-Wk122 — Is Cohabiting called Marriage?

in Steem4Nigeria3 days ago
Introduction

Is cohabiting marriage? For me, I think the question has answered itself and someone will say what do you mean? Let's see how that question has answered itself.

It's a pleasure to welcome you to my blog. Let's follow the content hints.

couple-8176869_1920.jpglink

If someone lives with a woman and bears children without paying her bride price, do we say they are couples or married?

Before I attempt answering the question, let's look at the meaning of marriage and cohabitation.

Marriage;

a legally accepted relationship between two people in which they live together, or the official ceremony that results in this:
They had a long and happy marriage.link

While cohabitation is;

the act of living and having a sexual relationship with someone, especially someone you are not married to:link

From the definition, marriage is a legally accepted union between two people. That’s to say that cohabiting or cohabitation is "illegal." Of course, if something is not legal, it is illegal.

knot-8083046_1920.jpglink

From my point of view, living together and having children is not marriage, such staying together is illegal even if both families know that you are both living together. For me, as long as there's no legal consent, it is not marriage.

It is even serious in African culture that in Ibibio culture of south southern Nigeria, that when a woman who was cohabited by a man dies, the man must surely pay the dowries, which is a token that binds the union between the two. If not paid, the corpse of the deceased may not be buried and in a case where the man is dead, his children or family members must pay the dowries before the woman can be married.
So, living together, no matter the number of years, it remains illegal and cannot be called marriage.

What's your view on cohabiting? Is it a short cut to getting married?

That's what people think, but that's not the truth. Cohabiting doesn’t lead to marriage in some cases. People, especially women, think when they move in with their boyfriend or a man who has proposed marriage that it will prompt the man to hasten to marry them. Some even go as far as getting pregnant and having children to get the mans attention. For me, I call that desperation. If he won't marry you, he wont. Even after you have children, he can push you out and get married to whomever he wants. I have seen a typical case like that with someone I know very closely, the man left her with 3 children and legally married another woman after he moved out of the apartment they lived together.

people-2594745_1280.jpglink

Are there advantages or disadvantages of cohabiting? Is it good to sexually test the person you want to marry before considering to marry them? What's your viewpoint?

I'll take the question one after another.

  • Are there advantages? I will say no, as a Christian, I see that as defilement. See, I used to say " that people are doing some things doesn’t make it right." That’s simply the truth. Most of us engaged in cohabiting without understanding that it's not good. I mean, where is the morality stooping so low to present yourself so cheap to a man? I understand that life sometimes happen but I know that some of us ignorantly engaged in cohabitation, if we're to be sincere to ourselves, there's no gain it.

Getting legally married and discovering yourselves as a couple is too sweet, its just like making a trip for an adventure and discovering new things. Meanwhile, see finish in cohabitation make a marriage relationship boring and even brings disrespect in marriages.

No need to test, sometimes, testing before marriage used to look sweet when you finally get into marriage the whole thing will just be detestable. There's no gain or pride in cohabiting and testing, it's called sexual immorality.

Let me invite @okere-blessing, @comfortpeter and @meehu

Sort:  
 2 days ago 

This was a very thoughtful and bold piece 👏
I like how you clearly defined marriage and cohabitation and tied it to our African cultural values and Christian principles. Your Ibibio culture example really drove the point home and made the topic feel real, not just theoretical.
The part about cohabitation not guaranteeing marriage is very true and relatable. Your advice, especially to young women, is strong and needed in today’s society. Even if people may disagree, this post sparks an important conversation. Well done for sharing such a deep perspective 🙏✨

1000020792.jpg

 yesterday 

I'm thrilled by your kind supportive comment on this post, I appreciate that you come around and read through the post. I'm encouraged.

 3 days ago 

Thank you for publishing an article in the Steem4nigeria community today. We have assessed your entry and we present the result of our assessment below.

CriteriaRemark
Verified User
#steemexclusive
Plagiarism Free
AI Free
Bot Free
Review Date20/01/2026

MODs Comment/Recommendation:
We appreciate your participation in this contest. Your views are very valid. Cheers

Remember to always share your post on Twitter using these 3 main tags #steem #steemit $steem

Hi, Endeavor to join the #Nigeria-trail for more robust support in the community. Click the link Nigeria-trail

Guide to join

Thank you for your valuable efforts! Keep posting high-quality content for a chance to receive more support from our curation team
IMG_1351.jpeg
Curated By alexanderpeace
 2 days ago 

This is much appreciated, thanks.