SAC-Wk122 — Is Cohabiting called Marriage?

^freepik

Hello friends, it's been a while, I trust you've been good. It feels good to be back again friends. I've really missed been here. I came scrolling through the platform today and found this interesting topic and I thought to share my two cents. I hope you find my thoughts interesting.

If someone lives with a woman and bears children without paying her bride price, do we say they are couples or married?

The answer to the simple question above is "NO" they aren't married, neither are they couples. It's sad to mention today that the concept of "Marriage" has been watered down in today's world especially by the so called GenZ generation.

They no longer see marriage as a big deal, it looks old fashioned to them and would not even give it a careful consideration, many of these folks who eventually get married just do to avoid tongue lash, you might not agree with me until you ask them to tell you if they really wanted the marriage thing, deep down in their heart. Trust me, their answer will shock you.

A simple and summarized answer to that above question is that you are not considered married if you haven't fulfil the marriage rite acceptable in your culture or society. It's important to mention that there is no one particular way marriage is conducted all over the world but there is an acceptable way it's done from one society to the other, when you submit yourselves to it, you are then pronounced as husband and wife.

What's your view on cohabiting? Is it a short cut to getting married?

I've never like the idea, maybe because of my faith and belief system. But come to think of it, looking at that concept logically, you can tell it's wrong and also against societal norms.
Cohabitation breaches many basic moral standard as it relates to marriage.

Cohabitation makes you go stay with a man who hasn't declared his intention to your parent as a lady or a guy, more like disregarding them and taking undue advantage of them. Cohabitation makes a woman feel so cheap and valueless in the sight of the man she is cohabitating with. As a matter of fact the so called union has no basis and can crumble at any time, I mean to say it's a disaster waiting to happen.

^freepik

Come to think of it, why would a man or a woman choose that part when they fully know that there is a level of respect given to those who follow due process and high disrespect for those who don't, why would a man go through such route when he knows that such man would be deemed irresponsible? Why would both party venture into such lifestyle when they both know there is no solid foundation for such union, because marriage was never done?

These and many more question that point out the flaws behind this act are begging for sincere answers, maybe you can share your thoughts with me in the comment section.

Are there advantages or disadvantages of cohabiting?

Let me start by saying that for the fact that something has an advantage doesn't make it right. So many folks who has gone through this route has some point to make to validate their actions but it still doesn't take away the fact that they are wrong, very wrong.

The route they have taken to be together is substandard regardless of the advantages they claim it brings. Even God didn't design it that way, the proper thing must be done. Sometimes it doesn't take so much to get married the proper way.

You might decide not to host friends and extended families when you decide to marry, that is if money is the challenge, all you need is to have a sincere heart to heart discussion first with your spouse and then your parents to tell them the kind of marriage you want based on your current financial state and if they are understanding, the marriage will hold with just a little financial commitment.

^freepik

But for many it's always a No, because they want it big and elaborate and at the same time they can't stay "separate" to think and put in the work that will bring the kind of finance they need for the kind of marriage they want. So they end up staying together hoping the marriage plan will work someday.

This method has always failed 90% of the time because once they start leaving together, marriage becomes the least of all their worries ,they immediately begin to act as couples, that is for those who even succeed leaving together for while before they eventually separate or retrace their steps.

I'm sorry I didn't have to start mentioning the advantages and disadvantages with bullet points, this is the way I feel led to share my thoughts.

Is it good to sexually test the person you want to marry before considering to marry them? What's your viewpoint?

Another beautiful lie people stand on to carry out this uncultured and sinful act. Why should you carry out sexual compatibility test by having sex before getting married to an individual. Those doing it must actually be perverts. How can two naive and inexperienced people actually test and ascertain compatibility? except they have been loosed themselves they won't be able to ascertain that because you must have to have had sex a couple of times to arrive at a conclusion.

So what then happens when one of the partner especially the man feels the woman is not compatible, he discards her? Now I think you can see the error in this approach, who then eats the remain of someone already eaten and enjoyed by another all in the name of testing?

Our society should do better in raising awareness against these bad acts and cohabitation in general. Let's stick to the original design, "No Sex Till Marriage", any man or woman convinced enough would stay no matter what... And yes, there are so many medical approach to test for fertility and not directly sexual intercourse.

A guy or lady who insist on sexual intercourse as a proof to test fertility or compatibility must have an hidden agenda or selfish interests. Let's all be guided. Let me wrap us to say marriage is a beautiful thing and it must be revered, let's those things which should be done in marriage be kept till marriage.
This brings me to the end of my submission. I hope you enjoyed every bit friends... My comment section is opened, feel free.

Regards
@lhorgic❤️