SAC-Wk122 — Is Cohabiting called Marriage?

Marriage and relationships are very sensitive topics in today world. Everyone has different thinking based on culture and experience. In this post I want to share my simple views about cohabiting and marriage. These thoughts are are honest and from my own understanding.

◉1.If someone lives with a woman and bears children without paying her bride price, do we say they are couples or married?

In my view I will call them couples not married. Marriage is more than living together and having kids. In many cultures, bride price is very important. It shows respect for woman and her family. Without it relationship feel half done. Even they love each other deeply, society not accept them like husband and wife. Children do not automatically make a marriage complete. If any problem happens later woman usually face more blame and pain. That is sad but true. So I believe they are partners or couples but real marriage comes when traditions and responsibility are fulfilled.

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◉2.What's your view on cohabiting? Is it a short cut to getting married?

I think cohabiting looks like an easy way but it is not a real shortcut to marriage. Many people choose it because marriage feels expensive and stressful. Living together can help people know each other better, yes. But it also make leaving very easy. When small issues come one person can walk away without thinking much. Marriage needs courage and commitment not escape routes. A shortcut can save time but it can also destroy trust. If someone is serious, they should prepare properly for marriage. Cohabiting sometimes delay marriage instead of helping it. So I do not see it as good shortcut.

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◉3.Are there advantages or disadvantages of cohabiting?

Cohabiting has some advantages like understanding habits and daily behaviour of partner. We learn how we react when angry and stressed. That can help. But disadvantages are more heavy. There is no legal and emotional security. If children come, things become messy. Society often judge woman more harshly. Also families not support such relationship. Emotionally it can hurt lot if relationship breaks suddenly. Marriage gives protection and respect. Cohabiting give freedom but no guarantee. Disadvantages are bigger than advantages specially in our societies where traditions are matter a lot.

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◉4Is it good to sexually test the person you want to marry before considering to marry them? What's your viewpoint?

I totally disagree with it. I do not support sexually testing before marriage. Marriage is not only about body needs. It is about trust, patience and growing together. Physical understanding can improve with time but respect cannot be tested like this. Such testing makes relationship feel cheap and temporary. It can damage emotions deeply. In case things do not continue. In different cultures and religions this idea is not accepted.

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Instead of testing physically couple should talk honestly and understand each other. A strong marriage is built on character and commitment not experiments. True connection grow after marriage not before it.