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RE: HOW DOES ONE LOG OUT OF STEEMIT?
Eureka! Alas, what felt like an eternity has finally yielded the answer- thanks to @magical-zaza you just click on the blank area next to the menu button to access the (yes it's lame) BLANK menu button. 
...aaaaanddd I just realized it's only blank until you update your profile photo, which then becomes the button. This guy must be a #noob