True Confessions From My Personal "Archives of Yesteryear" (The Bicycle - Part 1)
The extreme exploits of our crazy neighbours was a cross the entire road had to bear for many years. I would notice passers-by walk past this seemingly haunted residence, only to then exchange several fleeting, inaudible comments to one another. The place was almost akin to some dubious exhibit at a circus freakshow, but for real! Still, the main aim was to keep "them" as far away from "us" as possible. Though that was much easier than you'd have initially thought, given the closeness of our proximity to one another. The isolation they willingly kept from the rest of society helped enormously to that effect. That is, until one fateful Friday evening.
So, I'm chilling out with my two buddies. Though this time round, it's not the usual suspects I've mentioned in previous posts. Looch and Alfonso, two guys of Italian descent, who'd regularly make a trip down to mine. Possibly out of sheer boredom, but that's how things were make then. I'd known them all the way from my single digit years so we were quite close. Anyways, mid-way through our session of intense networked gaming, Alfonso (shortened to Alf for convenience purposes) decided to head out for a quick snack down our local Fish and Chip shop. Jotting down an additional list of delicious junk food items for his hungry comrades, he left soon shortly after. About fifteen or so minutes later, he returned carrying a plastic bag full of piping hot goodies and a bottle of diet Pepsi. Essential ingredients for an awesome evening ahead. But coming through into my room, he had this excited, child-like enthusiasm about him.
"Guys, you won't believe what I just found!" He began, emitting this sudden air of unfounded pride about him. "Come check it out. It's in the hallway!"
Taking a second or so to roll our eyes in slight annoyance, Looch and I abandoned the game to investigate what this life-changing discovery was. Well, we soon found out. Propped up next to the wall near the landing area, was an ordinary looking, run-of-the-mill black and white bike. Puzzled, we watched Alf, still grinning from ear to ear.
"Guys, you won't believe it. Someone must have left it outside. Don't know why though as it's almost as good as new!" We both traded glances with each other, somewhat suspended in disbelief as to what we were hearing. "So let me get this straight." I replied. "You found a random bike outside on the street and decided to wheel it in here. Therefore automatically making you it's owner. Have I got that right?" He proceeded to give me this confused blank gaze, most probably in revelation of his own incredibly dumb decision moments earlier. Looking to rectify the situation with haste, I moved to the front door.
"OK, so where did you pick it up from?" I enquired. His immediate reaction was to look down at the ground. As if he'd regressed back into being a small child who'd been caught red-handed getting up to some serious mischief. "What have you done, man?" Looch intervened, already feeling something wasn't quite right.
"I... Found it outside... Aubrey's."
I face-palmed myself as the other two just stared at each other. "Have you lost your goddamn mind?" I snapped. "This thing could be his! And you've essentially stolen it from him? What in the hell is wrong with you?"
"Maybe he didn't see me?" Alf whimpered back. I was getting more and more furious at the utter incoherence of his poor choice of answers that I'd had enough. "Alright, I want you to go and return it where you found it... NOW!" I yelled. I could see Alf retreating further into himself like a scared tortoise.
"Screw this." I barked, grabbing the handle bars of the bike. "I'll take it back there myself." Moving to the entrance of my house, I opened the door with one hand. And my face must have turned a dull shade of white, as did my two friends. Aubrey was standing right in front of us, tattered suit and all...
