Why Men Lose Interest
Why men lose interest?
I've been a man all of my life and I can tell you that there's not just one simple answer to this question; it can be a myriad of intertwining factors. One thing for sure is that if you like him then I'm going to lay it out nicely and in easy steps for you so that you have an action plan and you're not constantly wondering why men lose interest.
Okay, so you're probably asking yourself this because you felt that something was there. There was that, "feeling" or a glint of something in his eyes that is no longer there. It feels like a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach because you thought you had something really great -- and now? Nothing.
I know it, I've felt it before myself. Sometimes I've been really into a woman and then something happens and I've just disappeared into the ether. It can't have been the easiest of times for her.
There is no one single reason why men lose interest
Before we start I'd just like to say that it can be for many reasons. There is no, "general" reason why men lose interest per se -- it can be that he's a constant head turner in the sense that he's always scouting out new potential women, and moves with whomever shows him a bit of attention. He could be insecure and be one of those guys that go hot and cold constantly. He could have family problems; maybe there's an illness in the family and it's taking up all his time -- or maybe it's just that you aren't being as open with him as he would like.
Like I say, many, many things. There is no exact science, and that's why I'm here to lay it out a bit for you.
Is he a shy man?
Shy men generally flit back and forth from hot to cold when it comes to dating and relationships. The reason being that they are so unsure about themselves and the situation that they've found themselves in that this can cause them to pull away, and it can often feel like they've lost interest. It's mainly down to low self confidence.
Another thing you may be experiencing is that you're getting too close for comfort. Does this sound similar? When you get closer, does it seems like he's becoming colder than a naked night in the Antarctic? If so then generally this stems from a condition I've coined as the "from-afar-love-poet" -- where he likes your unavailability so that he won't get hurt.
Grabbing shy men is a lot of work; but if you're really interested then I'd absolutely say the way around these guys is to start straight talking around them. Don't assume he knows what to do, or what you're thinking; just tell him outright. If you're interested then tell him! Then he has no place to run then, right?
Don't take this as an exact science -- even psychologists get it wrong from time to time. Just be prepared to understand that the theory is easy, but doing the practical is hard. Cornering a shy guy can go any direction. Some people are just too far gone and will run for the hills, others will sit and listen. But you'll never know until you make that step!
Is he a bit of a Casanova?
I've had a few friends that were like this when I was younger. Always chasing women no matter who they were.
As long as they had a pulse; they were trying their hardest with them. In fact these are the types of men that more often than not will approach you and seem super confident in doing so. The rest of us will be watching in awe in the background as we try haphazardly try not to come off as a weirdo when we nervously talk to the woman we like.
Be very wary of random men that confidently approach you -- they have experience doing this. Where does experience come from? Doing it lots. Think about that!
You get sucked in with Casanovas. They tell you what you want to hear and sweep you off your feet, and before you know it you're sleeping with them and soon he's off to catch his next prey. I think most women have a Casanova story.
Think of it as a bullet dodged if he's gone stale on you. It hurts, yes, because you liked him, but it'll hurt even more if he led you on further.
Does he have a lot in his plate right now?
By that I mean does he have a lot going on in his life? Sometimes why men lose interest is because life just gets in the way. Maybe a family member is ill, or requires a bit more attention than usual. Despite what you've probably heard, stress can often make men lose interest in a lot of things -- including building relationships, or dating with other people.
You can always get involved? A great conversation starter with people (and one I use a lot myself) is "You look stressed, tell me what's on your mind" -- it's a great way to break the ice and get them to open up a bit more. Just remember, if he isn't interested to open up then don't go around trying to get him to do it. He'll eventually do it on his own. If not? His loss!
Maybe he thinks you just don't "click"
It may be a connection issue between both of you. Sometimes why men lose interest is because he may feel that you just don't click. It's mainly down to subconscious attraction.
Have you ever felt that? The "pull" to someone? That there are certain people we are drawn to naturally and others we aren't?
Sometimes it just doesn't work for some people, and it sucks, but that's the way it is. No matter what we do we can't change how another person feels about us, because believe me, if we could I'd be doing it all the time!
All in all just don't get too caught up in someone that isn't interested
Why are you wondering why men lose interest? I expect you're a fantastic and awesome person; why would you want to get too caught up in a man that isn't interested? Attraction should be raw, and butterflies in the stomach for both of you -- why spend your life running around after someone that isn't hot on your heels all the time? Okay, perhaps not all the time, he has to have a life, but you know what I mean! Why settle for that when you can have so much more?
Thanks for reading!
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : https://therelationshipblogger.com/why-men-lose-interest/
People, mostly women, often come to me for relationship advice. A big part of me finds it funny, a part of me finds it natural (I used to work for a Psychic Advice Hotline).
When it comes to marriage, women often tell me that they want a divorce, that they have fallen out of love. My go-to advice (for "normal" non-abusive relationships, in which a person can still thrive) is: "It is a bad idea to get married just because you love someone. It is a worse idea to get divorced just because you fall out of love."
Men lose interest because people lose interest. It is up to each relationship to figure out if they are "in it" together enough to work through it, or if they are simply ok with living life with different (or no) mates.
Usually, shared goals, and similar backgrounds help. Of course, relationships can survive without that, but... well, our divorce rates tell otherwise.
That's really good advice actually!
I'm into my tenth year of marriage and I'm still very happy and content. I think she is too.
I think Hollywood, Social Media and our culture of wanting things in an instant plays into this horrid spate of divorces we have right now.
When going into the relationship I have now, we nearly ended it early on because I was going through a hard time coming to terms with the idea that it shouldn't be lovey dovey all the time. I'm one of these men that loves a good chick flick and Hollywood has told me that being in love should be the good feels constantly, when it's not. Realistically it's a wonky uphill journey of co-existing.
I got there in the end though, and luckily enough I've been able to pass on that same advice to many of my friends that have struggled -- it definitely seems I'm not the only one.
Social media is another one. "Tell us what you're thinking?" - the entire premise of social media is to centre the attention around the individual. People never message me anymore and ask how I am. People don't listen either; they are far too busy trying to tell others what they have to say and missing the underlying message completely. So what we're left with is an entire populous that don't know the world doesn't revolve around them, with the inability to sit and listen, and slowly losing any sort of communication skills we once had.
No-one has the ability to compromise anymore. In the first few years of our marriage one of my biggest struggles was letting go of my wants to make room for some of hers. The feeling of just wanting what I wanted was strong because for most of my life I had been single, was raised as an only (golden) child, and used social media heavily -- the sheer fact that I managed to get out of that cycle I'm proud of haha.
Relationships take years to build -- and that's only the friendships we have. Co-existing can be so much harder at times. When you're raised in a culture that has anything to your door in thirty minutes, or at least under a day it can be super frustrating when there's some things in this world that you can't game, or have instantaneously -- those being relationships and friendships.
There's a lot of great good in this world, but there's a lot of loneliness and despair. I feel that.
Well, I did give great advice when I was working the hotline. I had 5 star reviews all over the place.
Social Media has a lot to do with it, I agree, but I also think it has a lot to do with us not understanding that you can be in a relationship and still be an individual. People lose their sense of selves and it makes things so much harder.
I am happy for you and your wife to be able to work things out, and I hope that in the future you can continue doing so.
You know, I've never came across that problem, ever. When I found my wife I began becoming an individual -- perhaps I'm lucky :) Beforehand my individuality was lost in the ether. I was essentially a social chameleon. Everyone's friend but my own. Hah!
I'll take you at your word for that -- I've never done any anonymous advice over the phone. I bet it's so much easier to divulge your secrets to someone that you don't know!
Thanks :)
You too -- I remember our last conversation was about your kids. Here's hoping your family (in the words of Ambassador Spock), live long and prosper :)
Your post has been curated by the bitcoin myk project. Tokens are available for this account you can trade for steem at: https://steem-engine.com/. Join our curation priority list to earn more tokens by registering at:
http://www.bitcoinmyk.com/register/
Bitcoin MYK
admin
Register - Bitcoin MYK
To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
Brought to you by @tts. If you find it useful please consider upvoting this reply.