The gun, and how it gave my uncle a great way to make money

“Hey, Ma”, ten year old Gene said quietly. “There’s somebody in the coal shed. I can see a light shining between the boards. Gene’s brother, Bruce, and the girls suddenly grew quiet and looked at their mother. The family lived on the edge of a small town and every once in a while, prowlers came around. Ma was pretty good at chasing them away, but she was nervous after dark and Dad was not home from work yet.

“Okay, boys”, she replied, also quietly, “Get back from the window and all of you stay inside.” Ma then picked up the stove poker and opened up the back door. Going out onto the porch she suddenly yelled out loud at whoever was in the shed that she was going to let the dog loose and they better get their thieving selves out of her shed!

That did it. There was audible shuffling and cussing as somebody tumbled about then fled from the front of the building. Ma could barely make out a man’s shape but it looked like he was more anxious to keep his hat on than carrying any bag of coal.
At the time, they didn’t even have a dog. Old Tiger had died and it would have been nice if he had been there because the thief would have regretted sneaking around this shed. The coal burning furnace was essential. The coal selling wagon came only every couple weeks and Michigan winters are very cold. It wasn’t unusual to here from neighbors that somebody stole some coal.

After the would-be thief was gone, Bruce and Gene hurried out to see if there seemed to be any coal missing. Ma let them go because she’d seen the man run away and didn’t appear to be carrying anything. But, what a surprise the boys did find!
Lying right on top of the main heap of coal, was a pistol. It was shiny and really big. Wow, will this be fun to have, they thought. They raced back into the house so excited to show Ma. Now she could chase off prowlers much more effectively. But their mother’s reaction was completely unexpected.

Ma took the prize away from the boys, strode straight out the back door to the privy and hurled that wonderful gun right down the hole! They could not believe it. That was going to be their protection they tried to tell her. But Ma was adamant and said to just forget about it and leave it be.

Dad came home shortly after that and listened to the whole story from the boys. He looked over at his wife and she nodded, confirming their story. So, that’s the end of that, he thought. But Gene and Bruce were not happy.

Several times over the next several days the boys talked about what could have been. How they wished they’d been able to target practice with that gun and become good shots. Alas, it wasn’t to be. Bruce, however, determined that someday he would buy a gun for himself and learn all about it. It mentioned it many times to his family members over the years.
By the time they were in their teens, Gene and Bruce got a job working for Mr. Allen, who owned and operated a general store. Mostly their job was unloading boxes and stocking shelves. Bruce hadn’t given up on his desire to buy a gun of his own, but Mr. Allen never ordered any in.

Then one day, Dad came home with a story about a tool that he’d seen that day being used at work. It was a metal detector. A metal detector could find anything metal that was buried underground, he explained. There are dials on it that would beep and make noises indicating how deep the metal object was and the operator could decide if he wanted to dig it up. He heard that the man had found lots of coins with it, enough that the man was able to make a living just digging up things that the detector located.

Bruce was so excited to learn more about the detector. He pestered his Dad regularly to tell the story again. Finally, his father said that next weekend, when the whole family went into the city to visit relatives, he would take Bruce to see the man with the metal detector.

Bruce was so excited. He told his brother that with a detector they could locate the gun that Ma had thrown down the privy, though Gene was not very anxious at the prospect of digging for it. Bruce did get the opportunity to see the man and his metal detector, but he also found out that it cost more than a gun would! He was disappointed and went back to saving up to buy a gun someday.

Years went by and Bruce’s family moved many miles away. It was a very different life on the farm, with many things to do, but Bruce brought up his desire to own a gun frequently. Eventually, after the boys had both grown up, Bruce turned up at Gene’s house with a metal detector. He was excited to make plans to go back down to their old house and find that gun. Gene didn’t really want to go but he did.

They planned on a day to drive down state to the little town and their old house. Unfortunately, they found that though the town was still there, the store they’d worked for was gone. The house they’d lived in was also gone and a shopping center was built over the spot where their backyard, shed and privy used to be. Now what?
After some time passed, Bruce realized that there must be other old, abandoned privy sites. Also, he’d read a story about a boy throwing his sister’s doll into a privy. He began to wonder about other things people threw or lost down the hole. His family laughed at his obsession with privies, but Bruce persisted. By the time he was in his thirties, Bruce had several sophisticated metal detectors.

Most people don’t realize that old privy sites are long past composted, dry and odor free. In fact, if you don’t know what to look for, you won’t even know they are there. Bruce quietly grew his hobby of exploring old sites. He has located thousands of dollars in coins, jewelry and one find turned up bags of coins and paper money with the bank name still legible on the outside. When he returned it to the bank, they rewarded him with a finder’s fee.

To this day, Bruce is still locating buried metals and prospering. His family laughs at his pastime, but they don’t deny the success. His son recently bought a farm in Illinois that Bruce says has a likely site behind the house. The house is huge and grand, with a butler’s pantry and even a dumb waiter. It used to be owned by the mayor. It will be fun finding out what secrets are buried out back.

Of all the things Bruce has turned up, his favorite finds continue to be guns. “If only those guns could talk,” he says, “what stories they’d tell.” Interestingly, though Bruce now has a lot of guns, he never did get around to buying one!