MY RAY OF SUNSHINE Pt1 (SHORT STORY)

Life had never been so amazing , I had never felt anything close to what I felt then .Everyday like Christmas morning was a gift i now appreciated, and every night like New years Eve, was a party that I now let loose to.It was as if i had been reborn, re birthed a slave to happiness and i like a dumbfounded prosecutor in court, i held on objection to that . I was happy, and every morning like a rich aristocrat I sipped the champagne of my joy.

But it had not always been like this. This was the calm after the storm, the treaty after the war .For having had lived in the shadows for so long , like a troll in the darkness ,under a bridge that held no recollection of happy memories. For as long as I could remember, all I ever did was struggle , cry , struggle and cry some more .It seemed like I had been created to be the laughing-stock of heaven , to provide amusement when jesters fell short, a clearly false theory I had cultivated in my mind but what else could I think? How else could I make sense of such scenarios? How else could I make sense of such pain? Everyday that passed I drew more and more to myself like an alcoholic drunk losing his mind with every bottle he hungrily gulps down as if his life depended on it .Every minute that passed by seemed like days in the dark cave of my pain and like a little boy trapped in an old mans body my face showed signs of struggles , my body signs of defeat while my insides just yearned for comfort , for warmth. What used to be my heart like a kiss from the frost queen had turned into an ice-cold stone whose only purpose was now to keep me alive , something I was not sure I still wanted.

My eyes only saw the evil that plagued the world ,never joy, never happiness. Everyday i longed for the day to end and the night to come for I foolishly thought, maybe if the world was engulfed in a blanket of blackness they would understand my pain and possibly like a long-lost cousin relate. But every time the darkness came a billion little suns trapped in glass bottles came up chasing my beloved darkness away ,to the amusement of the world who then like leprechaun’s in front of a pot of gold danced to the sound of what i assume they thought was good music , but to me was only poison that corrupted my ears and angered me even more and like the hulk turning me green with rage but like a confused sniper not knowing who to direct it at .Even in my darkness I was never alone ,never content , never at peace. i cursed the day I was born , I cursed the parents I never knew, I cursed the horrors that like pleasant treats had become my daily bread. Mine wasn’t a life worth living , i was just a pathetic excuse of a human or so I thought. Too much of a coward to end my own life and too much of a proud man to beg for help from on high. So I just sat there in my imaginary fortress of solitude which my mind mockingly kept reminding me that even in my wildest dreams , even in my metaphorical cases , I was too broke to own one. Tell me then , how could I find rest , how could I find peace when even I had no faith in myself. When even I , was my own wretched enemy. Opening the arms of my soul , I was ready to surrender. I was truly ready to give up like a surrounded army but then it happened, and just like that , there it was…..