The Lies We Tell; Part Five

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The car slides slowly and then stops leaving me in awe of the building infront of me, A magnificent storey building stood in front of me showered by excited giggles from my sister whose door is opened by a bowing Dave

"Welcome to The Walter's crib, Mrs Walter"



I step slowly out of the car (by myself might I add), squadron and hand bag in both hands and I suddenly feel like throwing up at the sight of the house, the sound of my sister giggling and the deep timbre of Daves voice as he fuels her giggles

How can they be so nauseatingly happy while I worry over his mistakes
How can he forget how he begged me to stay "Stay please Rachael" all soft eyed "Stay"

What happened to my own chance at this stupid fairytale. What happened to my own chance of owning a home
What happened to my chance of paying for a house my jobless fiance can't afford.
Fat chance of that, like anyone wants a drunk, jobless 26 year old with STD for a soulmate.

I laugh bitterly as I scrutinise Dave. Well, Screw him
I'm telling him everything and he's going to worry over his own shit
I can't be miserable alone. Screw sympathy
Drains sachet of squadron, picks another and steps forward to confront dave.

My hands are shaking, my throat is pleasantly satisfied and I'm almost euphoric. Except I'm having this conversation with Dave.I wait patiently as I watch Dave digest what I just told him
I almost feel bad. Almost!! But I'm high on fluids right now, and his face looks a little funny.

"We did what?" He asks me with his eyes wide open. "you're making this up, you're drunk"
My tongue feels thick as I desperately wish I didn't tell him. The idiot is no fun at all.

Dave looks around making sure my sister isn't within hearing distance
"Stop this nonsense foolishness Rachael"
Again I don't say a word, this entire thing exhausts me, life exhausts me!

 Dave goes defensive

"I dont remember anything like that, you took me home and...and...." He looks frustrated as he tries to remember....He lowers his voice  "you can't be pregnant"  his eyes go even wider  "Std?"

"I want, I'm just telling you.." What am I telling him again? "Yea" I giggle " I may be showing soon" I giggle again "oh!" I whisper dramatically "I gave you a bug"

"WHAT?!" He becomes stem, cold a little, looking at me as if he wants to wish me away "Listen to me Rachael, This isn't funny,  If God Forbid, I was stupid enough to disgrace my self in that manner"   He looks disgusted,  "Then it's in the past, all in the past, I and your sister are getting married, don't ever bring this up- dont mess our lives up like your own disgraceful existence"

He moves to get away from me and I lose it.

"Disgraceful existence?" I raise my voice, my previous worry about my sister hearing us forgotten "disgraceful existence you say??!"

"Lower your voice Rachael" he looks panicked

" How dare you? I came here in peace to talk to you, to share YOUR troubles with you and you-and you....you insult me that way???
After having me listen to your worries all night, waking up naked next to me, you consider me a disgrace? You're very stupid! screw your nonsense marriage!, screw your broke, ugly, miserable, abused life,
Dont dare act so dignified right now like being with me would be so disgusting. I know I've had my share of troubles, Yes! I've been defiled, used, abused and scorned by society
Yes I'm a drunk, But...but......"

Something gets stuck in my throat as i hear soft footsteps

"I'm no disgrace, screw tradition, screw it, I'm still worthy, my worth isn't on burnt paper or- or antiseptic filled rooms with stupid white test results"
It chokes me harder

I tap my chest and make my point "my worth is in here" I break off and find my sister's shocked face right next to an agent.
And then something extraordinary hapens.

I cry
After a loud useless speech
In front of a stunned, panicked and very angry looking Dave
In front of a surprised agent

And most painful of all
In front of my shocked sister whose words make me which I still had more sachets of squadron

"Both of you did what???!"

I'm a mess.🙈🙈

Follow up from part one and stay tuned for the next part
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