Apple Cult or Android Church: Acceding to Two Years of Subjugation (mobile upgrades WWSD?)

Mobile Upgrades What Would Steemers Do?

source:baysidejournal.com
The time has come when my two-year contract is nearing to an end and I'm eligible for that upgrade. The biennial moment when smartphones are affordable and the proletariats are bifurcated into one of two beliefs systems. (That is unless you are employed by Microsoft.) Ad interim, I am fortunate enough to have my effective date of termination when the loyal subjects throng to the doors of Apple, AT&T, Verizon, T-Mobile, and Sprint. Having the foresight, providentially, to order my device online I will save a few hours to scour the depths of Steemit or write another post like this.

After two years of battling the planned obsolescence of modern technology and belonging to the Church of Android, I am deliberating whether or not I should join the rest of my family in the cult of Apple. Stepping into fatherhood this year I feel beguiled by the seamlessness of FaceTime betwixt Apple devices. Encompassed by family members with iPhones I am often ostracized from group texts. The liberation I once felt with switching over Android has now ebbed, principally due to the fact that both platforms now intergrate well into the services I use daily. I choose the post photo based upon how I view most my interactions with Apple and Android people.
The choices I have narrowed it down to:
(Going small this time)

Feature I Care For	Apple iPhone 7?	Samsung Galaxy S7 Edge
Battery Life	1960 mAh	3600 mAh
Ram	2gb	4gb
Processor	Apple A10	Qualcomm MSM8996 Snapdragon 820 Exynos 8890 Octa
Resolution	326 ppi pixel density	534 ppi pixel density
Primary Cameras	12MP / 4k Video	12MP / 4k Video
Headphone Jack	None	3.5mm
Expandable Memory	No	microSD up to 256GB
Waterproof	Yes	Resistant up to 1.5 meters and 30 mintunes
Feelings	Apple agian?	Corrupted SD card, bye bye files.

That's right I wrote my own table. No lackadaisical images linking on this one.
Data Source: http://www.gsmarena.com/

Currently, I have the Samsung Note 4.

Pros	Cons
Stylus works when touch screen doesn't.	Touch screen stopped working.
Interchangable battery.	Battery stopped holding its charge.
No proprietary design charging cable.	Phone has to be set just right so it will charge.
Expandable microSD	Corrupts right before backing up files.
Fantastic camera.	Blurry pictures after I stopped replacing the lens after the second time it broke.
Google voice search works everytime.	I wish it would go straight to the Chrome app.
I loved this phone.	I put it through hell and now it's dead to me. Plus it is to damn big.

Conclusion: I love the Android platform, but I am afraid I must conform and return to Apple from whence I came. My last experience with my iPhone 4s was imbued by enmity toward my broken home button, volume controls, vibrate switch, faulty charging port. I used to use a paperclip in the 3.5mm headphone jack to wake it up, so I could unlock the screen and use my phone. At least in this home stretch, I have two phones that utilize a micro Micro-SIM for when my Note 4 refuses to charge; I can just swap phones.

I hope you enjoyed this and please leave some comments. I would really enjoy hearing what of the fence Steemers land on.