This Is Why Victims Stay Quiet
Scapegoating is one of the most insidious forms of psychological warfare. When people harm someone, they perform a mental sleight of hand - they reframe the victim as the villain to justify their actions.
It provides the cushion they need to sleep like a baby, untouched by the nightmares that haunt the people they've destroyed.
It's gaslighting, not just directed on the victim but on a societal scale.
They feign offense, display disdain, and play the victim - snatching the anguish from those they've hurt, parading it around as if it were their own to feel.
Then we'd watch them go about their day in carefree merriment, as if they're walking on the clouds of paradise.
Their laughter and smiles are so genuine, so blissfully unburdened - like something out of a serene advertisement - completely unfazed by the agony of those they've buried underneath.
This is why speaking out often feels redundant. You're only terrorized all over again - gaslighted by the perpetrator and then gaslighted by the very public they've poisoned.
You're forced to stand by and watch them rub their joy in your face, without a single trace of guilt. And yes, they got away with it.
This isn't a discouragement on my part - it's an encouragement.
I want you to know that speaking out is about more than just the act itself; you have to be prepared to deal with not just the perpetrator, but the public they've poisoned.
You'll have to filter what you let in, of course, but you'll be better for it.
You'll find your strength in the people who see clearly - the ones untainted by the poison, not the blind fools who chase the first shiny object dangled in front of them.
28 March 2024
The fear of speaking their truth is a heavy burden for many.
Photo by Alec Douglas on Unsplash
Consider the stories of those who have been trafficked, exploited, sexually violated, abused, bullied, scammed, or wronged in any way.
There’s purpose in their stories. They remind the others that overcoming these experiences and to continue to live on is possible.
Speaking out sheds light on what happened behind closed doors.
It raises awareness, warning others of potential dangers and equipping them to identify and potentially help others avoid similar experiences.
This act of reclaiming their narratives can be a crucial part of the healing process, with the possibility of justice adding another layer of closure.
Ultimately, these stories belong to the survivors. It’s their story to tell.
This isn’t about public entertainment or validation. Victims’ lived experiences stand alone, and their truth doesn’t require an outsider’s stamp of approval.
Sadly, the victims had to deal with a barrage of shaming tactics. They’re accused of playing the victim, a cruel dismissal of their trauma.
A rape victim is slut shamed for her assault because of her clothing or behavior.
A domestic violence victim is pressured to tolerate abuse by minimizing it.
A bully victim is told to toughen up and dismissed for their experience.
Such dismissive and insensitive responses.
Some even make the absurd statement, I’ll never be a victim, as if being a victim is ever a choice.
Would those who dismiss these experiences so easily say the same thing if it happened to their loved ones?
The truth is, they aren’t playing a victim. They are the victims.
Society’s response is a cruel twist of the knife, revictimizing survivors with dismissal and blame.
These victims hold onto their experiences in silence for a multitude of reasons.
Speaking out can be a double-edged sword. It’s a chance to heal and seek accountability, but it also forces them to relive the pain all over again.
The barrage of disbelief, public shaming, harassment, trolling, and ostracization often silences the victim. This madness creates an impossible situation. As victims, they shouldn’t be forced to choose between silence and suffering.
They lose the will to pursue justice and closure even when they are not in the wrong.
Some victims, crushed by such unwarranted shame, retreat so deeply that closure becomes impossible.
Tragically, some are driven to commit suicide.
People should be reminded of these stories — the human cost of victim shaming.
While some may hide behind anonymity to unleash incessant mockery and harassment, their attacks inflict further pain on those already suffering.
Survivors aren’t seeking pity; they seek closure and the courage to live on.
Why victims are being silenced?
Why are they met with such indignation, judgmental pronouncements, and speculation when they choose to speak their truth? Even those battling illness face this cruelty.
Why?
©Britt H.
Thank you for reading this.
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I don't believe it's possible to warn those around you, society. Manipulation usually creeps in, just like being controlled and abused.
What I find worse is that everyone knows it exists, but when it comes down to it, no victim is believed. I have experienced this myself, and as a child you certainly cannot count on outside help.
The number of suicides among children is increasing at an alarming rate. I understand them.
It's just so heartbreaking when children do this. They didn't get the chance to grow up. I remember those dark days.
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@wakeupkitty
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Thank you
All of the psychological books read, and one things is common through all. These things linger, abuse can lead to people chasing it.
There is a reason that psychological centers exist for these individuals. Plea that exists that they are not fully at fault.
I’ve realized I’ve been an 'asshole magnet' for years. But I really don't expect to be abused, they just eventually turned out that way
Being a victim isn't a choice, but what happens next should be. We have two options: we can be pessimistic or optimistic. We can choose to walk away, to forget, to leave the past behind.
I agree with you but have you ever seen someone who keeps falling into that exact same dynamic? It’s like watching a moth return to the fire over and over again, regardless of who the perpetrator is, whether it’s family, friends, or coworkers. It really does feel like some people are just 'asshole magnets.
There is a writer, perhaps little known, who was imprisoned in German concentration camps. In one of his passages, he recounts being stripped of everything, even his clothes. And he mentally told himself, "They can take everything from me, except my mind, my way of thinking." This way of confronting his harsh reality led him to discover his purpose: to survive and tell the world about the horrors of the German camps.
They can take many things from us, but we can always choose how it affects us. Change the quality of your thinking, and you will change the quality of your life. What do you think? @wakeupkitty
I agree with that. If you don't feel shame about being naked, there's no shame and this counts for everything. Who refuses to crawl will never be down in the dirt.
He is no stranger to history. His story is a beacon for many of us. His writing was his lifeline.
I have had moments where I felt myself slipping, ready to give up everything, but I have this stubbornness in my chest. I tell myself: Not yet. There are too many stories left for me to write.
🍀❤️
@wakeupkitty
This happens because parasites instinctively see and smell who they need to target... change your behaviour and thus your aura, and you will see that they will look for another victim.
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@wakeupkitty
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It’s as if they are born with a natural, unlearned predatory radar to sniff out their next target. A complete contrast to the rest of us, who have to develop an inconsistent sixth sense for danger through lived experience, trial, and error.