#Ulog Day 10: Vital Tips For Women Dating Online
I have posted a similar blog on Facebook and other sites but from time to time, I have been asked by my Filipina online friends to help them with their "online boyfriend" situations.
I have been messaged by different people and most of them got out of the relationship due to being played by the men which they were not aware of. The last person after some digging, we found she was talking to a guy from the Middle East pretending to be American.
I am no love guru but I am a man and I do know the games foreigners in other countries play to get into the heart of a Filipina. This could apply to all women I suppose depending on your experience or lack of as well as your naivety or "need for love".
So here are my tips and I will try to explain a little about each:
1- Never send anyone money and never ask for it or accept offers of it.
Seems simple and harmless enough though, right? Well that depends, many men will use currency as a means of guilt or to buy your trust in them. There is a saying, "nothing in life is free". If you are being a "good girl" on camera, it is almost a guarantee that after receiving money you will be expected not to be one.
2 - Be a woman and not a girl online.
Often older men target girls (18-21) who are innocent, in small provinces, inexperienced. May have never even had a boyfriend and they feel so flattered by the words the man uses to describe his admiration, affection or appreciation for you. For the record, this also applies to younger men as well as older women.
3 - Hand in hand with #2, take what you hear in stride. Do not show how wonderful it all makes you feel. Do not appear needy.
Sounds a little harsh, huh? Well fact is you do not know if the person you are talking to is being sincere or not. You show too much flowing emotions over words you hear to the wrong person and you have not only fooled yourself, but you have strengthened him. He sees his little plan is working and he will turn up the fire.
4 - Do not say, "I love you" to someone earlier than six (6) months of talking to them. Do not take it to heart if they say I love you any earlier either. Wait and see if they even last long enough to see if you are investing your emotions for good reason.
It is easy to say a lot of things online. The truth is, women can and often do fall easy or maybe just think they do. Just because two (2) weeks into talking to a man he says "I love you" does not mean he does. Fact, most men struggle with the admission of this in person, its just not in our DNA to fall in love so fast so if you hear it from a grown man you never met within a couple weeks that is a red flag.
5 -How to deal with sexual requests from men online. Wait, wait, wait!
I'm no prude. I was in an online relationship with my wife @bloghound for 3 years before I met her. That being said I knew all about her, her present, her past and her future goals. I knew about her dog that died and her new puppy, I knew about her family, her work experience, her father who passed. I knew about the traveling she had done. I knew her favorite color, favorite shoes, favorite foods. I knew what made her happy and what made her sad. (This is only a fraction of what I found out about her).
Point? If you are looking for love then these are the things the men should be wanting to know. Things that make you who you are. Not 2 weeks of sweet talk and then telling you they are horny lol. I have heard this from many women. I say "nooooo" and then they say "but he loves me and I love him and I don't want to lose him". He knows nothing about you in 2 weeks, he cannot love you so soon. He has switched years from charm to sex and he will not stop once you give in.
6 - How to deal with "I want to come visit you" requests. Wait 6 months.
I know I keep using the 6 month mark and that is because of a few things. Test if they are patient or pushy, test if they last, allow enough time to see their true colors. Allow enough time to see if YOU really love them. Often men are quick on this "I want to come see you so bad!" and they talk about looking up flight info etc etc. Okay, a couple things here. Men do not just meet someone online and after 2 weeks jump on a plane for a round trip costing nearly $2,000.00 US dollars after knowing you for 2 weeks. It is a scam to make you feel wanted, the story will change. "I will have to wait longer because of work, but I want to be with you so bad. If I send you some lingerie will you wear it for me so I can think of how you will be when I get there?" (direct quote from a FIlipina girl's situation who messaged me).
Truth is, he has no plan on coming. It was a scam to get you emotional and then naked. They talk about rushing to see you then you tell them in 6 months you will consider. Oh sad them now. So they flip to the camera fun. Nope. Have to wait for that too. More often than not the man will vanish.
7 - Open any communication with a male interest in another country with skepticism.
You may find the diamond of all precious diamonds but it does not hurt to be cautious and a man who respects you and may later love you will appreciate this.
I am from Las Vegas and I have known many men who are what we call "sex tourists". These men will often literally engage in several online relationships in Thailand and Philippines for a year. These men save their money, they travel. They have you and many others convinced "you are the one, the only", they have sex with you and then they leave.
8 - Do not be afraid to do a background check on the man you are interested in if you can get their first/last name as well as the name of the city and state they are in.
IN CLOSING, LOVE CAN BE FOUND ONLINE. GOOD PEOPLE ARE OUT THERE AND I IN NO WAY INTEND TO SAY OTHERWISE. THE SAME TRUTH IS THERE ARE ALSO BAD AND IT IS BEST THAT YOU KNOW THAT AND KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT AND RECOGNIZE IT. BEWARE OF ONLINE PREDATORS AND THEY DO COME IN THE FEMALE FORM TOO.
That's all for today. You all have a good day, ladies and gentlemen.
(Photos are mine: my wife and I)
Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
@vegasgambler 2018. All Rights Reserved.
Thanks for this upvoted and resteemed...so, my single friends
who are hunting for partners in life can read this and be aware@vegasgambler
Thank you @jurich60 :)
Excellent advice! I had no idea you and @bloghound knew each other for 3 years before meeting face to face❤
Thank you, @ninahaskin !
I wish my vote has value so I can give you more than you deserve. These are good pointers for women in search of their so-called "Forever". I will share your post with my nieces. You certainly have a lovely wife.
So kind of you. Thank you @tenaciousjay !
You're welcome!
😍😍😍😍😍
Xoxo
those are very helpful tips especially nowadays that there are many scammers. every men and women who wants to have a meet the love of their life online should be careful. Congratulations for finding the love of your life by the way which is @bloghound. I have known her from here and she seems to be a wonderful women with a huge heart.
Thank you very much @bhabykat !
Very good advices and tips from a person who takes love seriously. With that, I know my ading @bloghound is really in good hands. I believe too that there are more good men than bad out there.
Thank you @jap60 !
some good tips for online relationships
Thank you @jyoti-thelight !
Great tips @vegasgambler.
It is so sad to see how many terrible people there are trying just to use other people and break their hearts. Just no heart at all.
I know, @joalvarez !
Thank you!
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Thank you.
Wow.. very nice post Sir..
Very helpful for singles who are searching/hunting for their “forever”
...and thank you for sharing your “lovestory”...
Thank you @catietan !