Feedback Requested: Lyric Writing w/My Daughter on July 4, 2019

Independent Thoughts: Lyric Writing Process on Independence Day, 2019
by @eyedreemit

Sweet summertime. For many educators, this break in the school calendar brings refreshing opportunities to apply #cagefreethinking to personal endeavors. When folks find out I’m a former art teacher they often ask if I still practice art making of my own during my free time. I tend to answer simply that I’m less drawn (pun intended) to making visual art for self-expression these days, and more interested in conceptual forms and creative writing. I am an evangelist for valuing the creative process of any medium as much as the product, if not more. After all, it’s the thinking, the more cage-free the better, and the ideas behind any form of expression, that makes it meaningful.

So when my daughter Sierra, a SPED teacher, suggested we spend time writing a 4th of July song together, the sparklers in my creative and maternal soul were lit. What follows is the story of our design thinking process for writing lyrics for Stream of Consciousness (Inspired by Frederick Douglass), which I share to convey the joy in taking time to be curious, making connections, and finding purpose in collaboration with people you care about.

Both of us tend to write lyrics after a melody has been composed. However, this time we decided to start with the lyrics.

Me: Let’s be sure not to be cheesy or regurgitate tropes.
Sierra: Totally.
Me: Maybe we can make it about two characters we know but relate their struggle with the independence of our nation.
Sierra: Do you mean our friends X and Y? I like that idea.
Me: Someone on Twitter suggested reading Frederick Douglass’s speech"What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?".

My daughter reads the speech aloud while I write keywords and phrases resonating strongly with both of us. The first jolt of inspiration hits from the way FD expresses ideas and issues still relevant today.

“As with rivers so with nations.”

We explore the qualities of a river and share ideas on potential connections and symbolism for our song.

Sierra: What if the characters are rivers and streams?
Me: Yes, and what do the rivers want in relation to independence? If this is a story, what’s the summary? We know the who. Now we need the what, the but, the so and then.
Sierra: The rivers want to be respected and appreciated.
Me: Okay, but…
Sierra: But people keep taking from the rivers.
Me: What are they taking?
Sierra: Energy, food, gold. Water, obviously.
Me: They become polluted and drained.
Sierra: Right. They’ve been a source of life, they cleanse, they transport, provide beautiful views.
Me: A place for mindfulness. Their sounds are soothing.
Sierra: When they erode the land they release precious metals and bring rich sediment downstream. But people are greedy and take too much. The rivers become weakened, diminished.
Me: So…
Sierra: So the rivers split off into streams and find new channels.
Me: I’m seeing independent tendrils. And then? How is the problem solved?
Sierra: Through recognition of its value leading to restoration.
Me: Or maybe reaching the ocean. The circle of life.
Sierra: I love this idea!

After personifying rivers, researching the concepts of independence and interdependence, and empathizing with Mr. Douglass and all who struggle for freedom, our inspiration deepens. We’ve diverged our ideas and are ready to move on to the lyric form, converging ideas while prototyping each line.

Verse 1 will include the but. Verse 2 is the who and what. Verse 3 is the so, and verse 4 is the then. We know the chorus is the theme. We discuss the rhyme scheme as we work, deciding loosely on AAAB for the first two verses.

The first verse starts coming together quickly and we’re immediately in the flow. At 8:00 PM we bring our notebook with us to the rooftop where we planned to watch fireworks. After several iterations, we are high fiving and hugging because we are proud of our creation and in awe of the connections and multiple meanings we were able to make throughout the process. Ten minutes later, the spectacular fireworks seem to celebrate our accomplishment in the name of freedom and independence for our country and for anyone with a similar quest.

Currently, the chorus is the then of our story instead of a 4th verse, and we’re considering a bridge. Music will be fused with the lyrics soon.

Serendipitously, another stream or channel was connected by this article on copper mining in Montana which showed up on my news feed the next day. Curiously, it could have been the source of our inspiration with so many similar issues and concepts regarding the struggle of opposing views on exercising freedom and responsibility, and the exponential implications of compromising the health of a river. #Interdependence

In the meantime, we are open to feedback! If you have a question or a helpful suggestion, please comment. We are currently wordsmithing a bit and wrestling with the second line in the third verse. Specifically, we’d like to ask if you prefer option A or B or neither.

Stream of Consciousness (on the 4th of July- Inspired by Frederick Douglass)
By Sierra and @Eyedremit

You treasure royalty
Conquer dignity
You shred energy
Left me depleted

I manifest loyalty
Honor humility
Give vitality
Never felt completed

In my stream of consciousness
I'll wash away the stain
I will find my way

V3: Hate loves change
Option A: Always panning for gold
Love brings change:
Respect, freedom and home

(or)

V3: Hate loves change
Option B: Copper, silver, and gold
Love brings change:
Respect, freedom and home

In my stream of consciousness
I'll wash away the stain
I will find my way

(Bridge) Plotters of mischief
refine strife
into liquid life
You can’t put a price
on me

In my stream of consciousness
I'll wash away the stain
I will find my way

---

Thank you for your time!