Adventures of the Viking-kind Part 0.05

This one day I was sitting at the inn, trying to get drunk and lucky with the innmaid. Around that time, a dwarf walked in sideways through the door. He sat down next to me and ordered some beer. We started talking about stuff, although neither of us could tell you about what, since neither of us were listening. After a few more beers, we decided to go on an adventure in the forest. Well, that is where I wanted to go, he just wanted to find the biggest, baddest thing around to slay.

Walking around the forest, we spotted a big dragon-type thing. Not too sure, though. We were really drunk. Like any good dwarf, he jumped at the dragon-type thing, waving his giant axe around. When I say jumped, I really mean hopped. Have you ever seen a dwarf jump? So there I was, holding up the tree that wanted to fall over for no reason, while this dude just carved through the monster with his axe. He ended up covered in blood and gore and I managed to keep the tree from falling over.

Satisfied with our kill, we decided to have a braai. Now for you who are not familiar with the term, that is what you call cooking meat over a fire. With more beer ordered through bird mail on the way, and the fire going strong, we decided that we needed more people for the braai, since there was a lot of meat and we would probably only finish half by ourselves. When the messenger bird came back, we sent it out again with invitations to people we made up names for, to see if the bird could find them.

The innmaid arrived, hauling two kegs of beer, and I thanked her by dry humping her leg. I was crawling around at the time and it seemed like a good place to start. For no reason at all, I was flying through the air and landed in the heap of meat we were getting ready for the braai. The dwarf was so drunk he nearly put me on the grill until he realized it was me. Well I think he realized, because he mumbled something about the meat going off and tossed me aside.

The messenger bird never did return and we only managed to drink all the beer and eat half the meat, but we decided we should stay friends. At least, I think that is what we agreed upon, since neither of us were listening. Every once in a while, we do go hunting for something big to slay and have a braai, though. Maybe, someday, the messenger bird will return. Or not.

And there you have it. That is how I met WulfenZA.
Peace, prosperity, and promiscuity to you all!

Disclaimer: @zakludick is more dwarfy than all of the Hobbit dwarves combined. @jbrrd is still missing-in-action.
Art by @AnikeKirsten (from whom I buy this service with my looks and charm)