On Being a "Good Person"

We often talk about such concepts as "Good" and "Evil," and about whether somebody is nice or not nice, but what does it ultimately mean to be a "good person?"

I'm not talking about the kind of good person that is an eternal people pleaser, but the kind of person that we might spend time with and after we parted ways we think to ourselves "this was just a really kind and overall good person."

While I have always aspired to be a good person, I do not lay claim to being one. I didn't exactly grow up with people who were "good," although my auntie always imprinted on me to "not be shitty."

But what does it ultimately mean?

I do believe that mindfulness plays an important role. Are you aware of those around you and how your actions impact and influence them? Again, it's not about making them happy, it's simply about observing your impact on your immediate surroundings and how your choices affect not only yourself, but also others.

For me, it also falls under the broader heading of do no harm. I don't think people really mean to actively harm others, but sometimes the pursuit of our self-interest is such that we forget that our choices may have an impact on those other people.

I think part of being a good person is also to be of service to others.

Note here that it is important to distinguish between being of service and being in servitude. There is a definite difference between being willing to help when somebody obviously needs help, and running around trying to maximize your self sacrifice.

I think an important part of it is also that you don't turn the other way when somebody is in need. That is to say, if you observe somebody obviously suffering, don't just turn away and say "not my problem."

I also believe in being a person of your word. If you make promises or simply make statements about what your intentions are, be someone who keeps those promises and who follows through on the things you say you're going to do. Make "giving your word" really mean something!

At the same time, I also think we need to have good boundaries and be willing to walk away at certain times.

Maybe that sounds counterintuitive, but sometimes the most compassionate thing you can do is actually allow somebody to fail so they can get the help they really need, as opposed to enabling whatever toxic behaviors they are engaging in as some means of claiming to be understanding.

It might, for example, be something that could be applied to somebody who has a drug, alcohol or gambling problem. It is not a kindness to support their addiction, sometimes the kindness is to allow them to fall so that they can get the help they need.

With all that said, perhaps being a good person is largely in the eye of the beholder, because one person's good may not be another person's good. Even so I do believe there are certain basics that build the foundation for fundamental goodness.

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great remainder of your week!

How about YOU? What do you think it takes to make somebody a good person? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

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Created at 2026.04.30 00:27 PST
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